where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

the reason i'm alive / poem

i'm alive for one thing.

the stage is tinted a hazy blue; the colour of swimming pools
with a hint of gold as i stand from backstage, heart pounding but my anxiety is nowhere to be found.

i have to swallow my smile as i walk onstage, home, and suddenly my mind has gone. it had been transported to the world i'm making every night. i am not me any longer.

the orchestra starts in an almost deafening chorus of violin and piano but i sing louder, safe and at peace in the four walls of the theatre. everything i have experienced and felt i channel into this song, perhaps of love; perhaps of heartbreak.

the world is melting away, becoming less and less real with every syllable and i draw in a quick, deep breath and i hold a note, long and high, as i am met by a thunderous applause that i feel in my chest. i struggle to keep a smile off my face.

and, in that moment of heavy breathing, i shall be so glad i didn't end this life ten, fifteen years ago. i shall be so thankful that i stayed on living and loving.

my only wish is that i can help someone else stay alive for even a bit longer.