where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

feminism / rant/poetry / part one

i was six when i first (subconsciously) became a feminist.

it was summer. i was in the car with my dad, and we were almost home.

then i saw a topless man walk down the street.

i laughed and asked my dad, "daddy, why is that man topless?" i had only seen my father be topless, indoors.

he simply replied, "it's hot. he's probably taken his shirt off."

"oh," i said, "i'm hot. can i take my top off?"

"if you really want to."

"what about mummy? she must get hot. why does she not take hers off?" i questioned suddenly.

i had unknowingly walked into difficult waters.

dad, however, paused and after a little thought told me, "mummy can't take her top off, love."

"why not?" i demanded, uncomfortably full of this strange, red hot feeling.

(i later learnt this was anger.)

a small sigh escaped from the lips of my father and, now, looking back on it, i realised what a hard topic i was pressing him on.

"it's stupid, jem," is what he said after a while, "but girls can't take their tops off in public."

"but i can?"

"you won't be able to when you're older."

i laughed. "well, i'll just never get old!" but, as i was -and still am- a curious child, i asked, "can freya and freddie take their tops off?"

freya and freddie are my cousins, about three and one respectively back then.

dad exhaled slowly. "yes, they can. but freya won't be able to when she's older, either."

"is it because, when girls are old, like mummy, they get boobs?" i gasped, everything clicking. "but boys don't get boobies, do they?- apart from- they do, sometimes, right?"

dad stifled a laugh. "boys don't have boobs, love." obviously transgenderism was a topic for another day. "sometimes... bigger boys get boobs, but that's just... fat."

"but they look the same as mummy's boobs!" i whined. "that's not fair!"

"i know, jem. it's dumb. but it'll change one day." my dad reassured.

and that was that.

•

i wrote this in my head in the shower but this actually happened many years back and it really stuck with me.

next i'll be doing 'jem discovers there are more than two genders, inappropriately bringing it up at her granny's house'

yes i did that when i was ten yikes

stay safe
-jem ✨