where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

so it can be us / first draft

i'm sOBBING i just found a first draft of it can be us on my notes when liz asks the boys out look at this shit:

"what did you want to ask us, liz?" alex asked gently, putting a hand on her knee.
eliza took a deep breath, her heart almost about to pound out of her chest. "ok... this is gonna sound weird as /frick/, but... i'm in love."
"that's not weird-" john began.
"lemme finish," eliza pouted. "i'm in love with... both of you."
she chewed on her lip, too scared to look her friends in the eye. there was no response.
"i- i never should've told you i'm sorry-" she blushed, about to leave, when alex grabbed her hand.
"no, liza... i love both of you too."
the pair turned to john, who was redder than eliza. he was staring at his hands, barely breathing.
"john, baby, what's the matter?" alex muttered softly.
"i- he wouldn't- he wouldn't approve." he mumbled.
eliza turned away, unable to bear seeing john so sad.
"he's not here now, yeah? he can't hurt you anymore."
john nodded slowly. "not here anymore." he repeated, gaining confidence by the second. "he's not here anymore." he said again, louder.
"that's right!" alex laughed and pecked him on the cheek. "so, it can be us. all three of us. what do you say?"
"i... i'

and that's all i got

back when i didn't know how to use pARAGRAPHING PROPERLY WHAT THE F U C K JEM

but then i wrote that picnic scene

also which self-respecting adult uses frick it's not like i wasn't swearing my ass off when i came out the womb or anything

i hate my past self he was so cringy smh

stay safe
-jem ✨