where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

memories / kleinphy

this is based off of diedinurarms ' theory that jared n connor were together during the summer

•

god, he was stupid.

so fucking stupid.

sure, jared knew he was an asshole, but not that much of an asshole.

words tumbled out of his mouth and look at what that got him.

his lover dead.

because of him.

but what else are you meant to say to someone you loved with all your heart? the person who your happiest memories are with? the person you trusted and the person who took all of that and destroyed it in a few simple words?

how do you greet them? how do you exist in the same vicinity? how do you make eye contact? glare at them with a begrudging limerence? smile?

how do you live knowing that the person you poured your heart out to carries your secrets in their back pocket?

well, at least he didn't have to worry about that any more.

because connor was fucking dead.

and it was his fault.

of course it was.

everything was.

he just had to say it, didn't he? was it anger? bitterness? revenge?

why why why why why?

he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, the memories of him and his old lover too painful to bare. they were persistent, flaunting his happiness; rubbing it in his face; laughing clinquantly as he suffered, the images a riot of agony in his heart.

fuck, being shot probably hurts less than this.

connor was dead.

congratulations, genius. you killed the only person that loved you.

this wonderful, ephemeral love.

connor was dead.

dead dead dead dead dead dead dead.

maybe that was a good thing.

or maybe he killed his lover.

how romantic.

it's ironic, actually.

it sounds like the sort of thing a pair like connor and jared would do.

love, hate, die.

how fucking extra.

god-

good riddance.

•

lmao so that was short and bAD but oh well

naturesbluebonsai i love you more than anything ever

diedinurarms you're a blessing

whereithappens i miss you ilysm

stay safe
- jem ✨