Zombie Diary

Day 31

15 January 2018

Monday 8:30 am

SO... Olly turned up the s'morning telling me to get up because we are going swimming, and he doesn't want to swim in his Aunties pool because why? He could have gone swimming in there. Oh... I just realised why. He wants to go swimming at Springfield because... there will be cute guys there. Wow, so it's not even that he wanted to spend time with his best friend because he's bored. It's because he wants to spy on cute guys. (note the sarcasm) But seriously, it should have been my first thought by now, especially because I woke up to a cup of ice cubes thrown down on me to wake me up by him. Before having him yell at me, "Get up loser, we're going swimming!" he then proceeded to pull my bed sheets off of me and riffed me out of my bed and onto the floor, threw my swimming bag at me, which he apparently had grabbed out of my cupboard and then walked out leaving me a little dumbfounded. He's in the bathroom at the moment; that's why I have the time to write this down right now. Speak of the devil, and he will appear while you can't hear him... I can hear him thumping down the staircase, singing, "Hi, Hoe! Hi Hoe! Get up, you lazy hoe! We're going out to Springfield, YES! Hi Hoe, Hi Hoe, Hi Hoe, Hi Hoe!" Which is my queue to get downstairs.

I'll tell you if Olly gets lucky or not later, haha.

10:48 pm

It's been 13 hours since Olly turned up the s'morning. I assumed we would be a little longer than 3 hours but not this long? It doesn't matter too much, though; Mum and Dad trust Olly not to get me killed. So we went swimming and then we went to get something to eat and then he wanted to go look into some pet shops at the kittens and puppies... while I looked at the fish and the different fish ornaments. I found this cute little bus from the Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants TV series. It's a cringy orange, but the little bubbles on it make it look cute, and I think it will go great in Mr Bubbles tank. It's got a little pineapple house and some white stones leading up to it and some blue stones around the path to make the ocean floor, and it has some little Sponge Bob figures and stuff; it's so cute. Mum thinks I spoil Mr Bubble's... but you can't spoil a fish? I just know that Betta's needs things of different colours to show off their colours. He's purple and red, so contrasting colours like orange and blue make his colours pop. I can't wait to put the little bus in his tank once I've cleaned it.

Oh, I'm going off track. So I promised I'd tell you if Olly got lucky! I bet you wouldn't guess what happened.

Nothing.

He said they were either all old, married, hairy or ugly. I swear he has the most highest standers, and he sits there and goes..."All I want is a man who has great hair and eyebrows, someone tall, toned and has a little muscle and is tanned. Someone who will bend to my every will and treat me like the king I am. Someone who will never doubt me and will believe I'm right about everything I say BECAUSE I AM! Is that too much to ask for?" Yes, Oliver, it is a bit too much to ask for, but that would probably be the perfect person for you if only that person existed. Only no one is that... what would be the right word for it? Stupid? No, submissive? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Mum put some left over's from dinner in the microwave for me a few minutes ago, so I'm going to go eat dinner. I already had a shower once I had gotten home; mum wouldn't let me have dinner until I had showered and put all my swimming stuff in the washing machine. So I'm gonna go eat now and go to bed; I'm tired as all hell.

Night night Diary.