Zombie Diary

Day 99

24 March 2018
Saturday 11:35am

It's been more than a week now since this all started. We haven't left the house since Oliver's mother came back...there hasn't been a reason to. We turn the generator on at night to save on fuel, the water tanks have been more than enough ever since the water turned off. Last night there was a lot of growling outside nearby so everyone's been a bit quieter than normal today...we don't know if they are still nearby. Lolly is a lot better today...she's started talking again. I'm glad Stefan was able to talk her into eating when he did...who knows how much longer she would have been able to go without food and water. 5 days is a long time when you think about it, Mrs. Prescott has also been a big help with getting her to open up again. Sparky was helping everyone out within a few days but...everyone processes grief differently. Sparky needed a lot of cuddles and talks...Lolly needed to be alone at first before she was basically forced into snapping out of it. We gave her all the time we could before something needed to be done, she'll be okay though, not now but some day. When this is all over.

Oh and yes I know what you're asking...Barbie is still a pain in the ass. Last night she was in the shower for 15 minutes! So Mrs. Prescott smashed the lock on the door and turned the water off dragging her out of the shower and dried and dressed her like a toddler while she screamed her head off about privacy and her skin needing to be cleansed still. It was hilarious we didn't actually see much other then the door go flying open and then flying shut. The other three girls and I just listened and laughed...I was glad to see Lolly laughing. We figured with the lock broken Barbie would realize if she had anymore long showers Mrs. Prescott would come in again for round two.

Still nothing from my parents...it's been 10 days now and nothing from anyone else either. I tried calling Uncle Lemuel the other day and got his voice mail so..yeah...at least I can say I tried. Not very hard I admit...but a try none the less.

Nathan moved the radio from the living room to the kitchen table; we've still been listening to what's going on. Remember how I said they were talking about the military coming to find 'civilian's' who were uninfected? Well...apparently no body is coming now. I didn't really think anyone would come...but it was a nice thing to look forward to while it lasted.

Olly found his old board games in a box in a spare room last night so that's been great help with distracting us from the sounds outside...especially at night. Olly is still a sore loser, he lost to Sparky playing Jenga last night 3 times in a row and so he sulked in a corner! I beat Nathan in connect-4 twice as well! He accepted his defeats gracefully too I might add before Barbie pulled him off to play Monopoly with her! Once again giving me the stink eye, just like she did the first day we met, so I went to go play Exploding Kittens with Olly and the others. They were invited to play but she wanted her 'Natey-Bear time' as she put it, which had everyone else in a fit of laughter. And I can only guess embarrassed the hell out of him but he seemed pretty calm about it all and played Monopoly with her. He asked a couple of us to play but she said we couldn't join in because she was the banker and the game had already started. So we didn't push it and apologized for not playing before we continued with our own shenanigans. Olly's mother kept and eye out down stairs while Beck was upstairs checking out windows to see further out.

It's my turn tonight to go on watch. Olly tried to offer a 'swapsie' with me where he does the watch tonight and I take his next shift only...he already did that with me remember? I got out of it on Wednesday? Well this is the night I'm meant to take from him and now he's trying to swap again. I know what he's doing...he's been trying to talk to me about what happened back at school still...but I keep avoiding the conversation. He's worried so he wants me to sleep at night because he knows me too well...he knows the only time I stop to think about stuff is if I'm writing in you...times when I'm alone. At least when I try to sleep; I fall asleep before I finish thinking about...whatever I'm thinking about...humm.

Those things, I swear it's as if they become more active when the sun goes down, I haven't seen any since the day it started...and obviously I still think about that poor guy I stabbed in the head with those scissors...that's why Olly's so worried...I stabbed him in the eye...his name was David...I know I haven't really said anything about it...him...until now but...I just didn't wanna talk about it yet. I do realize I need to talk to someone about it at some point and...I'd rather talk to you than the others...I know that it's a bit selfish after all they've gone through and spoken to me about but... I stabbed someone in the eye with scissors?! Our whole life we're told not to run with scissors because we could stab someone else, or stab ourselves. And as soon as I saw Olly and the others in trouble I just...I acted. I stabbed him. David was a nice guy. We was really nerdy and got bullied a lot but, he was nice anyway, and in a second I stabbed him...I don't know if it actually killed him...I didn't look to make sure I just ran away with the others once I had done it. And then with Mrs. Alice? I just froze. Why didn't I reach out and grab her like I had Barbie? Even after she tossed me the keys...I still...just stood there. Why didn't I help her? I know I blamed Barbie for her death at first but if you think of it...really I'm to blame as well...just as much so as her. What happens...if zombies are after us again at some point in the future, and I freeze again? What if someone else dies again because of me? What if Sparky dies? What if Olly dies? And it's my entire fault...then what?

Mrs.Prescott is calling everyone for lunch, we'll talk later.