reddie oneshots ; lovely

fourty

Eddie was laying in bed just thinking. He looked down seeing the slight flabs on his tummy, and the few bags of cookies on his night table. His heart hurt knowing he would never be beautiful and that no one would ever want to have him. He was lazy and didn't play any sports because of his asthma; or that's what he told himself. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about his mom always judging him on his weight and how he should be more like his friends, smart, skinny, active, and most importantly happy. Eddie had been trying to starve himself and eat healthier to lose weight but every time he saw one of those goddamn cookies he couldn't help himself. Eddie hated himself so much. No one could ever change his mind on that, not even Richie Tozier. The boy he's had the biggest crush on since they met. Richie was perfect in Eddie's eyes. Tall, skinny, gorgeous, and very active. Every time Stan, Bill, Mike, Bev, Ben, or Richie told him to love himself or that he was perfect the way he was, it hurt even more. Eddie knew they were lying over and over again. He sobbed as he touched his body fat wishing it would go away. His mother's words replaying in his head "if you just applied yourself and actually tried, you'd lose weight Edward!" That hurt Eddie, but he knew it was true. He doesn't understand why it's so hard for him to do this. Eddie hated the way he looked, hated the way he acted, and he hated everything about him. Eddie had his head on his headboard crying like never before just as Richie was riding by. He noticed the boy crying and he couldn't help but see his best friend (and his crush) be sad. He dropped his bike and climbed through his window. "Eddie? Eddie bear? Ya alright?" He sat next to Eddie and tried to rest his hand on Eddie's shoulder, but as soon as he tried eddie shouted "don't look at me! Richie look away!" Richie looked away and said "Why Eds? I wanna see that cute little face." Richie smiled but just as he turned around Eddie's cheeks were stained with pain. Richie held Eddie and rocked him back and forth cooing at the sad boy. Eddie said "Richie no! I'm ugly and fat an stupid and—" Richie stoped him and said "Edward fucking Kaspbrak! Don't you dare say you're ugly, stupid, fat or any of that! You're beautiful do you understand?!" Eddie pushed him away and said "No Richie! Look at me!" He pointed out his face, and the slight rolls of fat on his tummy. "Look at me! I'm fat Richie! I'm ugly!" His tears became more frequent. Richie said "Eddie! Why would I like you if i thought you were any of that?! you're so damn beautiful Eddie! you're perfect!" Eddie looked up in shock, suddenly his crying stopped and Richie realized what he just confessed. "Eddie no forget it—" "You like me?" Richie sighed and said "yes eddie, I more than just like you, I love you. I've always wanted to tell you that since the first day we met. You're special and sure, you weigh a little more than me but Eddie! You're not fat! Those little rolls are the most adorable thing I've seen!" Richie pressed kisses to his tummy making Eddie giggle. "See? Even your laugh is adorable! And you're not ugly! Look at your eyes, they make me melt. Eddie, those freckles and your smile, I could stare at you all day." Richie placed Eddie on his lap facing him. "Eddie, please baby, don't you ever insult yourself like that." Richie placed the most gentle kiss on Eddie's lips. Eddie quickly kissed back. They rested their foreheads against each other and they laid down. Richie held him close pressing small kisses to his neck. "Sleep well Eds, sweet dreams." Richie dozed off with his lover in his arms, but what Richie didn't know was as soon as he fell asleep, Eddie still thought he was ugly and fat. No matter how many times Richie told him he wasn't, Eddie will always believe he is. That's the pure joy of hating yourself, until you "fix yourself" you'll always be horrid in your eyes.
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^Authors note^
I've hated myself for a long time, and it's hard not to. My mom judges me like that and people tell me I'm beautiful and that I'm not dumb or stupid but the more they tell me the less I believe them. I've always wanted to be like my friends; skinny, naturally pretty, active, and smart. But I'm not, and i don't like that. I know that all I have to do is try but every time I do, I somehow get back to the bottom. I'm sorry if this either made you depressed or sad or something. Thank you guys for always being there for me!❤️
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I've been gone for a while, I know. Im so sorry! With my competition it's been hard. In summer I'll probably be uploading almost everyday but now I have states May 27, but I will still be posting! I love you guys and I hope you like this one.