It has been over a year since the murder of his wife, Lily, and James Potter wishes every day that it is simply a nightmare that he will wake up from. Unfortunately, it isn't and in the wake of her death, James finds himself as a single parent to th...
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When James woke the morning after the storm, he didn't remember much of what had happened the night before right away, but as he found Renata asleep against his shoulder and Harry sprawled across their laps, the memories started to flood back in to remind him. Suddenly, his chest was overwhelmed by a sensation of warmth that left him in such a state of relaxation that he almost could have fallen back asleep. Renata and Harry appeared so peaceful as they slept on that he was afraid to breathe, let alone move in fear that he would wake them up.
The night before had proven to actually be a lot of fun as they had been entertained by Renata's idea of shadow puppets and Harry's outstanding performance. Never in a million years would James have thought to do such a thing for Harry to soothe him over his fear of storms, and that's why he was so thankful to have Renata around. So far, she always seemed to know what to do, even in situations that were highly stressful and that always left him more than impressed. But it also left him feeling bad because James felt like sometimes that he was practically useless in situations.
He wanted to be of more help, not only to Harry but to Renata as well since she had taken over without question. He was capable of doing more, he knew that very well. The war had shattered a lot of his confident nature, but over the course of allowing himself to take a step back and reevaluate everything, James was refinding himself. There was part of him that remembered how confident he had been back in Hogwarts, to the point where it had come across as pure arrogance. He didn't want to go back to that level, but he wanted to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of the person that was looking back.
When a situation arose that called for fast action, he didn't want everything to solely rely on Renata's fast thinking, he wanted to be able to jump right in and solve the problem on his own or at least help. However, James had to remind himself that it wasn't impossible, he was making his way back to be the old James, it was just taking time.
During the first year after Lily's death, he didn't make any sort of progress, in fact, it all seemed to be over as he was stuck in a state of grief. He couldn't think of anything else besides how he had failed so many people at one time, but he was learning since Renata had come into their lives that it wasn't his fault. Unfortunately, life had dealt the Potter family a cruel card and had played it in the most devastating fashion. The fact that he had survived and that he was there for Harry was something that Renata wanted him to appreciate, not live in the sense of regret.
She was showing him that even though Lily died, he did not die with her.
Sure, he missed her terribly and part of him was always going to miss the first woman he had ever fallen in love with. Lily was the mother of his only son, someone he had obsessively fancied since he was a boy and he loved her, even in death. But James Potter wasn't dead and every day, he was learning that there were many reasons for him to still live on.
Whether it was learning that he was actually capable of cooking, bringing Renata and Harry to the beach for their first time and witnessing how much they enjoyed it, or just simply enjoying all the new memories he was making like the thunderstorm shadow puppet show.
