Chapter Seventy

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Renata wasn't familiar with what death felt like as she had only heard many stories from people who never experienced it for themselves

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Renata wasn't familiar with what death felt like as she had only heard many stories from people who never experienced it for themselves. She didn't know whether it was going to painful or whether it was going to be like falling asleep, but the mercy of the Killing Curse was that it was over so quickly. She had tried to fight her mother, but it seemed as though her best efforts weren't enough because right after the jagged arm movement, all she could see was a flash of green before her body gave way.

She had to admit, it was rather peaceful because the pain was suddenly gone and she didn't even feel herself hit the floor. Instead, all she was met was the darkness and silence that seemed to wrap her in a comforting blanket, letting her know that the fight was over. To think that her own mother would have pulled the Killing Curse on her, she was truly a fool not to see it coming. Alcina had been deemed insane and she was willing to go to any lengths to get her way. But seeing as Renata was not going to cave in, Alcina finally figured that she was going to be too much trouble.

For that, Renata was somewhat relieved, thankful that she didn't have to be bound by a vow to remain prisoner to her mother's torturous ways. She was also relieved that all the pain she had been fighting over when it came to pushing through the curse was suddenly lifted. She couldn't feel anything, not her fingers, nor her toes, but at the same time, she didn't feel pain either, at least, not physically.

Mentally though, she was devastated and she hated herself for not putting up a better fight because all she could see as she fell before the darkness overcame, was the look of pure horror on James' expression. Then she realised, that she had failed him, and not only him, she failed Adelmo, Harry, Sirius, and all the others that were counting on her to bring the fight to an end with her as the victor.

She thought she could do it, she thought she had the upper hand in the fight, even in the final moments where Alcina was fighting her back. But Renata had been caught off guard and it all ended so abruptly that she didn't get a chance to try anything again. To make matters worse, despite being wrapped in the comfort of the darkness and relieved of the pain, she found herself alone and she hated it. She tried calling out but no sound came out of her mouth as she just drifted along.

Was this the afterlife? The one that her mother and father promised would be so beautiful as long as she did "good" things with her life? Perhaps it was the afterlife, but not the one her parents spoke about, maybe she hadn't been good enough to reach that one. Perhaps it was her destiny to spend the rest of eternity in darkness, just drifting along like a lost thought.

I'm sorry, she whispered in her head, taking the time to apologise to all the people that she had let down. She was so sorry that James had to be the one to witness her fall, especially since they didn't even properly get to reconcile the way she wanted to. All she had wanted to do since the time she recognised him again was hold onto him with the plans of never letting go.

She wanted to go back with him to London, stay in his flat, leave out the days of flirtatious teasing in the kitchen, cuddling up at night, taking turns reading Harry bedtime stories, take Harry to the park or host more playdates. She didn't just want to go back to London, she wanted to go back to the family that she had discovered and never wanted to lose.

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