Forever My Person

4. Reality

The sun light creeps through the blinds telling me it's already morning. I make a mental note to get darker curtains to shut out the light, it's to damn early. Eight o'clock is too early to get up when it's my day off. I mean it's not like I could work after the catastrophe my heart is going through right now.

I'm dreading this day already and I haven't even opened my eyes fully yet. I'm surprised I got some sleep last night besides waking up at 2:30 this morning. I was definitely exhausted by the time I had one glass of wine and finished our Chinese take out last night. I couldn't even manage to get through a whole episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Throwing the fluffy white comforter off of me I head to the attached bathroom to clean up and start today. I look in the mirror and not at all surprised by how bad I look. My eyes are red and puffy from crying and my dark brown hair is placed in a messy bun that's falling lopsided out off my head. I shake my hair out and peel off my tank and shorts I used as pajamas that I borrowed from Ave to sleep in. 

I step into the shower letting the hot water spray across my skin. I stare at the Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner bottles placed on the shower rack hanging from the shower head thinking about going back to the apartment Kyle and I shared together. I'm not ready to pack up my stuff. I honestly just want to burn everything and buy all new things so I won't have any reminders of him but I know that's not possible. I finish washing my body and hair and turn off the water.  Stepping out on to the white microfiber rug I take a towel off it's rack and dry myself off and change into a pair of black leggings and a white T-shirt.  Thank god Avery and I are practically the same size.  I brush my teeth and wash my face. Thank goodness Avery keeps extra bathroom necessities in her guest bathroom. I attempt to brush and pull my hair into something presentable but not actually caring what it does like I usually do.  I open the door to the bedroom and smell delicious food making its way to my nostrils. My stomach growls at me wanting to fill it.

I make my way down the stairs and follow the scent of cinnamon and bacon to the kitchen. " When did you learn how to cook Ave?!" I ask as I turn the corner."She still can't cook that's why she's marrying me!" I hear a deep laugh. I jump back when I see it's not Avery and it's Liam. When did he get here?

"Where's Avery?" I question him. "She's taking a quick shower, then she'll be down." He gestures to take a seat on one of the barstools and pours me a glass of orange juice.

"Thank you, when did you get home? I thought you had to work out of town this week?" I say watching the condensation run down my cup. "Yeah, I was but we finished our project early and got to take a few days off. " Hey, Ave told me about what happened last night. I'm so sorry. If you need me to kick his ass just let me know." He says jokingly. 

"Who's kicking who's ass? I want in" Avery laughs coming into the kitchen. 
I laugh at both of them. I love my best friend and soon to be best friend in law.

We finish our breakfast that consisted of waffles, fruit toppings, eggs and bacon on the side. Avery got lucky with Liam. At least she knows she'll never be hungry with him around. We discard our plates into the dish washer getting ready to start the rest of this dreadful day.

Before I know it we are parked in front of my apartment I once called home. We make our way up to the door on the second story and my stomach is filling with butterflies. At least there's no sign of Kyle anywhere. I take my keys and open the door.  The familiar smell of sandalwood wafts through when we step through the doorway. We set down empty boxes we picked up on our way and I take a look around the apartment. I've only been away for one night and it already doesn't feel like home. Being with Kyle is what made it feel like home. Coming home to Kyle, waking up in his arms, watching Netflix shows is what made this feel like home. Now it just reminds me of the betrayal from the man I love and my own sister.

" Well, let's start packing. The faster we get this done it will be one less thing for you to get over." My best friend says pulling me out of the the depressing hole I was emotionally going down. 

2 hours later and we're packing up the last of my things.  Avery is kind enough to pack away my frames knowing I'm not ready to look at the happy memories of Kyle and I through out the past two years. I sit on the floor of my closet folding my last bit of clothes and packing them away. Seeing my side of the closet slowly vanishing into boxes makes tears well up. I try pushing them back as I stare out of the closet to the king size I bed I found my fiancé cheat on me in.

"Awe, love it's going to be okay. I know this feeling feels like it's never going to go away but I promise you it's only going to make you stronger." Avery says sitting down beside me wiping away the tears. I didn't realize I was crying till I felt her finger swipe away the drop of water along my cheek bone. I don't say anything. It doesn't feel like I'll be able to get through this. I gave my all to his man and he was able to crush it into pieces with in seconds.

After filling the trunk of my cranberry red Jeep Patriot with boxes I hand Avery my keys. I can't drive right now.  My eyes are nearly swollen and I still can't manage to stop the tears flowing. The ride back to Avery's house is quiet. My mind is going a million miles per hour.  Wondering what am I going to do? I can't stay at Avery's forever her and Liam are getting married in three months and they need their own space. How am I going to face telling everyone the wedding is called off?

I don't realize we've pulled up to her house.  I look outside the window and see Liam walking down the drive way to help unload. Avery must have called him on our way to get his help. I didn't even notice. After we unpack my belongings it's just past lunch time. I'm beat and in need of a nap. I make my way up to the guest room, which I guess now is mine and lay down. I instantly pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I wake up and I check the time and I've been asleep for practically the whole afternoon.  The sunset is casting shadows around my room making me want to fall back to sleep. I grab my phone that's lying the cream white bedside table next to the lamp. When I press the side of my iPhone the picture of Kyle and I appears when he purposed to me a year ago on the field of our Alma mater. I close my eyes making a mental note to change it and I notice I have eight missed calls, two voicemails and twenty-two text messages. I know exactly who they're from but I don't even want to face what they have to say. Hearing his voice right now will make me want to go back to him and I know with the bottom of my heart I can't do that.

I knew this day was going to be horrible and it's not even dinner yet.