Forever My Person

42. All My Fault

Cohen

Pissed off is the understatement of the century. I'm enraged with anger. Hearing the child like gossip around the locker room, confirming that my ex and I are now currently back together makes me want to punch something. I'd preferably would love to punch myself because of how stupid I am but I can't.

I hate myself. Plain and simple. I should've never listened to Taylor and agreed to this. She said if I just listened to her and let Ev go, I could keep her safe. I of course questioned her as to why would Ev's safety is being jeopardized but the only answer I got was "asking more questions would make the situation worse." But I didn't understand the photos all the photos...

I couldn't risk her safety so I took what was given to me and now I sit here broken hearted, judged, and incredibly angry.

After loosing the game and then the buzzing of the gossip in the locker room and everyone whispering and staring, I snapped. I grabbed all my shit from the cubby, cursed out everyone who decided to look in my direction but what made me flip out the most what the newby that's supposed to be second string quarterback. He had the audacity to make a comment towards me as I was almost about to leave. He some how managed in that pea sized brain of his that he could now slide into Ev's DM's as he put it and how he's love to show her what she's been missing out on. By the time the last of his words spilled out the hole in his face that he calls a mouth, my fist makes contact and a crunch that may have been his nose but at that point I could careless. Actually I still don't.

Now I sit isolated on the plane, no one wants to come near me and I don't blame them. I'm the one who's stuck with myself and my dumbass decisions.

I lean back into my chair, listening to my Music on blast. I stare at the magazine cover with my face plastered to the front with Taylor's overly posed photo on the side lined up above a photo of the most beautiful woman in the world, my Ev. How could I be so dumb to have let her go? I thought I was protecting her but I know all this shit is only hurting her more. We could've tackled whatever this was head on but I was scared. I was scared to loose her, I thought she'd run away and not want what we've been creating these past months.

"You're one stupid motherfucker man." A deep voice rumbles next to me and then my head phones are snatched away from my ears. I turn my head seeing the one person I call my best friend and the only person right now I'd be okay with talking to me.

I roll my eyes and slide my hands down my face. "I know, I fucking know. You don't have to remind me. Why aren't you over with the rest of the team that's keeping their distance from me?" I ask as I look over my shoulder seeing the rest of the guys sitting half asleep behind us.

"First of all I'm glad you can acknowledge that and I'm your best friend so I'm supposed to be here. That's part of the role of being said best friend." He looks at me cracking a smile. I know he's trying to make me not so angry anymore but it's going to take a lot more than that. I give him a tight smile in thanks and look back at the article about my current situation on my phone.

"So you guys are seriously together again? I mean I know you have history and all that but what about Ev? You were starting a life with her. You guys were happy." Wyatt's eyes flicker from my screen back to me.

"Things just happen I guess." I reply trying to avoid answering his question honestly.

"That's bull shit and you know it. You and Ev were perfect. Something is going on and I know it. Even Chels is  trying to figure it out but Ev won't talk to her. She said she just stays locked into her guest bedroom and doesn't come out. She hasn't been eating, and she won't talk to anyone. Avery told Chels she's worse than when her engagement ended. That's saying a lot, man.Then we have you over here not focused and punching your own team mates. So what in the hell is going on?"