Forever My Person

49. Better

Everly

I decided to choose to put what happened behind me. I know it's not easy but I'm making progress every day. Each day I feel a little more happy than the day before.

It's been just three weeks since my first session with Dr. Amaya. I've been going to her office twice a week and I've even made a few phone calls to her when I felt at my lowest. She's helped so much. At first I was skeptical and in denial when I first sat in her office. I only went because Chelsea found her and said she was the best, so I took her word for it and I'm so glad I did.

I was hesitant at first to say anything. How am I supposed to open up about all the shitty things that has happened in my life so far with someone I barley even know? I never thought of being in this position before. I never thought that I'd need to talk to someone because my life decided to flip upside down in a matter of months.

Dr. Amaya has been giving me many tips on how to handle what I've been through. The best part of is I don't feel judged. After everything that has happened I felt the weakest I've ever felt. I blamed myself for not seeing the signs that could've helped me stay away from the situation it Dr. Amaya put a quick stop to that thought. She made me realize none of it was my fault. I didn't do this to myself and I didn't choose for this to happen.

Some days are better then others I have to say. Thanks to the therapy sessions I've been feeling a little bit better and have been doing more work. Also a big thanks to my assistant he took the whole load of everything and has kept everything running smoothly for my business. Thank goodness for him.

Even with me feeling better though Dr. Amaya thinks it would be for the best to still take time and ease my way back into work. I still need to process everything I've been through. Luckily work hasn't been as busy since Christmas is right around the corner.

It's my absolute favorite time of the year. From the coolness the days are and all the twinkling lights around. I love to decorate every inch I can get my hands on since I was little, from doing it at my parents home to my old apartment. While decorating I love to listen to my Christmas playlist and wear everything and anything Christmas related. I may look like a fool but a fool with a whole lot of Christmas spirit let me tell you. But my absolute favorite thing to do is when the house is fully decked out in ornaments, lights and all the tinsel is to sit in front of the fireplace, drink my moms famous hot coco and watch Hallmark Christmas movies. Just the thought of it makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

Still wrapped in my oversized towel from my morning shower I finish applying my makeup. I lightly coat my lashes with mascara and apply a lip balm as my finishing touch. Taking my brush I run it through my dark strands detangling it as I go.

Making my way to the closet I open the dresser drawer and pull out a Lacey pink thong to wear and a matching bralette. I drop the towel to the floor and pull on the flimsy pieces of material. I take a quick glance in the mirror beside the dresser, I feel sexy and it's been awhile since I have. My eyes roam over the lace that holds me in all the right places and see the still reddish scar on my side. I frown knowing I'll always have a reminder of that day for the rest of my life but I'd rather think of it as a battle scar that I won for not giving up even when I so badly wanted to.

"Fuck." I hear a husky voice trail in through the doorway. My eyes snap up from my body and meet Cohen's lust filled eyes. Part of me wants to cover myself up but the way he's looking at me brings in the familiar heat to my body.

"S-sorry I didn't mean to walk in on you, I thought you were still in the bathroom." He says through clenched teeth. His eyes roam once more over my body as I turn towards him. I can see the heat rising in his eyes and all over his body. He muscles look constricted and bulging. My eyes take down his firm tan body slowly, I can feel the same heat rise through my body as I take in him in. It doesn't help that he's shirtless with sweatpants he wears to practice riding very low on his hips.