HEAVEN'S SUPPORT GROUP || sidemen/kstar/minizerk

#40- The People I Left Behind

Simon's POV

'Well that's dark.' Ethan muttered.

'At least he talked. You go next, then.' I said.

'What is there to say? I fucked up my life. I didn't kill myself. At least, not intentionally. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about it.' Ethan replied.

'Come on, man. Don't be a pussy.' JJ said.

'Fine, if it means I can fucking get out of here. I only drank at first when my parents got divorced, made some bad friends, made some bad decisions. It got worse and worse, and I couldn't stop it. My mum helped, or tried, but I just pushed her away. I spiralled, got expelled, all that kind of bullshit. I blamed other people, I guess, or the divorce, or my friends, my parents, whoever I could. Anyone but me. It was one of the parties that got me in the end. I don't remember much- just the first couple of pills. I woke up here, so I think I can figure out what happened. I wasn't ready to go. My parents thought I had 'potential'. Not any more.' Ethan explained. We all stared solemnly at him, until Harry broke the silence.

'Do I really have to talk too?' Harry asked.

'I can go first, if you want.' Tobi offered.

'Please.' Harry said.

'My brother was the only one who believed me when I told him about my insomnia. When he tried to get me real help, my parents stopped us. They said some bullshit about money, but we knew they didn't want to waste time on something that wasn't real. Something I'd just made up for sympathy, attention, whatever. It's fair enough that they didn't believe me- it's hard to understand insomnia unless you have it. They told me to 'just go to sleep'. Eventually I did, for good.'

'Why are you here, though? What did you do wrong?' I asked.

'My brother. If you get a bad point every time you hurt someone, I'm surprised I didn't end up in hell. He tried so hard to help, did everything he could, and still had to watch me die.' Tobi replied, met by only silence.

'It was the same with my family. My, ah, my sister.' Harry said. JJ raised his eyebrows. 'I was bullied, really bad, like Simon, so I wanted to be thin. Maybe that would stop the bastards, if I was more like them. It'd take away their biggest insults. They were nice and all, my family, better than Tobi's at least. Helpful. They even got me some therapy after I ended up in hospital a couple of times. I always hated hospitals. It's easy enough to fake an improvement for a couple of weeks. Wear extra t-shirts, stick weights in your pockets, whatever works. They believed me, and I starved to death. I guess it stopped the bullies. I regret it, you know. They used to go after my sister too, so, without me, she's alone. It's not like our litte brother can do much to defend her. At least when I was alive I could make myself more of a target, so she'd be okay. I can't do that any more. That's the only thing I regret about my death, the people I left behind.'