[UNION] Offering Myself To You || SULAY/ LAYHO

42*

A/N: Happy birthday, our precious leadernim, Suho/ Kim Junmyeon..! 💖💖

05/22/19

* * * * *

Junmyeon stays on the doorway and watches Yixing with a frown as the latter hurriedly wipes tears from his eyes, not looking up at Junmyeon as he does so. "Did I hurt you somewhere? Did I say something? Did I do something?"

Yixing snaps his gaze up at Junmyeon as he hears those, but Junmyeon only smiles bitterly. "Junmyeon, you did nothi—"

"Can you stop all this bullshit and stop lying to me?" Junmyeon hisses and crosses his arms over his chest. "Have you just realized you didn't really want me?"

Yixing blinks quickly and looks down as his breathing turns ragged, his fingers that are clutching the bedsheets trembling as he curls his toes in the carpet. "What..?

"You heard me," Junmyeon says. "I'm tired of trying to tell which is the truth from the things you say or do, Yixing.. Can you just let my mind take a rest and let me know? We're mates, aren't we? If you have a problem with me, you can just tell it to me," Junmyeon mutters, frustration clear in his voice as he screws his eyes shut and runs his hands through his hair.

"It's my problem," Yixing quietly says, gaze kept down on his own lap as he bites onto his own lips.

"Right. I knew it. That knot thing, right?" Junmyeon questions hurtfully, making Yixing frown, but the said omega still keeps his sight focused on the ground.

"It's not tha—"

"Oh, I don't know," Junmyeon interrupts. "I don't know. You keep lying to me. Of course, you will lie to me again at this.. You're an omega, Xing, so don't tell me you didn't wish to just be mated to a real alpha.." Junmyeon says frustratedly.

Yixing doesn't respond and only lets tears gather in his eyes again. "You don't know," Yixing sobs softly as a response.

"Of course, I don't," Junmyeon says sarcastically. "Of course. Who knows what dreams you have, Yixing? Who knows what alpha you wished to have, huh? Everything that I'd never be, just because I'm a vampire. I didn't intend to love you, Yixing. I didn't control that, but I do love you. Yixing.. I gave you all my heart but that's not enough, right?" Junmyeon begins rambling as he points on Yixing's heart. "When will I own this? You sure know how to talk, Yixing. You can blabber all day about loving me, but it would all be lies I'd rather not hear.. You can stay by my side for the rest our lives and act like you're contented with me, but I'd rather let you go than make you live regretting you ever met me and keeping that regret to yourself. For once, tell me, did you ever want me? Is it too hard? It's hard because I'm just me, right? It's hard because I'm not an alpha, but a vampire.. It's hard because I can't knot you, can't give you children you dream of.. It hurts me, too, Yixing.. If you only know.."

Yixing shakes his head and looks up at Junmyeon, smiling sadly. "I've always given you everything, Junmyeon.. You just don't know.. Junmyeon, if you only find it.. If you only look at yourself in me, you'll see how much you mean to me. I risked my life for you.. I gave you all of my heart, yet you betrayed me," Yixing says and winces as if in physical pain, standing up to meet Junmyeon's gaze. "I once trusted you for nothing.. That's why I can't just love and trust you as much as I did before.. Because you broke me before I even started fixing myself," Yixing says and smiles, letting tears just fall drom his eyes, warm drops streaming down his cheeks. "You can just let that be.. in only my memories.. and not yours.. Just remember th-that.. you're still the best thing that happened to me.. The best thing.. I don't care what you are.. I don't care what you did to me.. I will be offering myself to you.. whatever happened in the past.. whatever happens now.." Yixing mutters.

Junmyeon stares at Yixing in confusion as certain phrases stick in his head. "What are those things you are talking about?" Junmyeon questions as he holds Yixing's shoulder, but the said omega only smiles.

"Nothing.." he says, gaze wavering a bit before he trails his hands up Junmyeon's shirt and looks up at Junmyeon. "If you're still worrying about the 'knot thing'.. let me show you how you already break me open with your dick alone, Daddy.."

"Are you using this to escape my questions again?" Junmyeon asks as he stops Yixing's hands before they reach his pants, but when Yixing drops to his knees and looks up at him with wide eyes and a sly smile, he finds himself lowering his guards down again.

"Knots can be simulated.. Everything else has an alternative.. But you, Kim Junmyeon, are one and only.. Please remember that.."

Yixing's words sting, and Junmyeon doesn't know how, doesn't know why, but he only lets Yixing do what he wants in a haze.

* * * * *

One time Yixing is this, and another time he's that, and maybe Junmyeon is beginning to understand.

He's starting to understand as Yixing snuggles to his 'unique warmth' tonight, whispering concerning words that start with 'whatever happens' like 'whatever happens, I'll choose you, like before, Junmyeon' and 'whatever happens, please don't leave me alone'.

Junmyeon is beginning to get worried about what those may mean but he starts to forget everything again when a waft of Yixing fills his nose, and he smiles, contented, as he lets his arm drop to wrap around Yixing's slim waist, rubbing a bit as he feels Yixing's breathing starting to even out.

"Don't worry anymore," Junmyeon says and swallows as he reaches out to massage Yixing's scalp and thread his fingers through his hair. "Just stay as Xingxing and stay as you, and stay.. Stay with me.. please," Junmyeon murmurs as he leans and kisses the top of Yixing's head. Yixing looks up at Junmyeon and smiles sweetly, so so sweetly, his adorable dimple showing and his eye smile that makes Junmyeon's heart skip.

"I'll drop everything to stay with you," Yixing slowly says, sighing happily. "I'll even let you do that again and I will still love you.. With all my heart," Yixing mutters and smiles. "That's how important you are to me, my second chance.." Yixing whispers, and if Junmyeon isn't looking intently at his eyes he may not have seen how Yixing's eyes start to brim with tears even as his face shows happiness.

Yixing is this, or that, and maybe Junmyeon is starting to understand. Maybe he is beginning to find out.

One time Yixing is this. He's real, genuine, heart beating what his smile shows.

And another time he's that. He's great in hiding, hiding from himself, Junmyeon, everyone. He's great in faking himself, feelings, expressions, words.

Lies seem like truth with Yixing.

And maybe, maybe Junmyeon is beginning to find out.

What Junmyeon doesn't realize though, is that he shouldn't be finding answers from Yixing, but from the very person whose reflection is in Yixing's shining eyes.