[UNION] Offering Myself To You || SULAY/ LAYHO

45

"Let's end it."

Hearing it just hurts more. Knowing about it just kills him more painfully.

He doesn't want to leave. He never wanted to.

"Why are you doing this.." Yixing says and looks down at Junmyeon's chest, hitting him with clenched fists and sobbing silently. "Again.. Again. You're leaving me alone again.. You—You're unfair.. You always do this. You always leave me the time I need you the most..!"

"Yixing, I just want the best for you," Junmyeon says and catches Yixing's clenched fist, holding it firmly, looking at Yixing intently. "I just want to give you everything. That's what mates are supposed to do, right? They do what's the best for their mates."

"Then why leave me?" Yixing asks silently and looks up at Junmyeon hurtfully. "Is that what's best for me? Why are you letting go of me? Why don't you tell me that I should always choose you, that I should always be with you? Tell me I should love you with all my heart. Tell me to trust you. Tell me you'll do everything to deserve what you say you don't now. Tell me I don't have any right to run away from you.."

"Yixing, but if you need to, i-if you want to—"

Yixing frowns in disbelief and yanks his hands away, glaring at the vampire. "But you do own me..! You own me, Junmyeon! It's you.. It's you..! It should be you.. Force that in my head..! Why are you being such a coward, huh?! Why now, Junmyeon? Why is it that whenever I need you the most, you just leave me alone.. you just give up on us this easily.." Yixing sniffles and huffs. "Right. That's why it happened anyway. It's because you said you'll never give up on us but you still did..! You betrayed me.. You promised me..! Y-You promised me but you still did it..!" Yixing exclaims and hits Junmyeon again.

Junmyeon only looks down and lets Yixing hurt him, letting tears fall from his eyes as he stares at Yixing sadly. "Find someone better than me.. Someone who can love you more.. Someone who won't give up on you.. Find someone else who can give you everything," Junmyeon whispers.

"But I don't want anyone else," Yixing cries out and wraps his arms around Junmyeon's torso, pulling him down to hug him tight, until Junmyeon can already feel his heartbeat from their chests pressed into each other. Yixing hiccups and sniffles. "The stubborn me wants you.. The stupid me wants you.. So don't push me away.. Order me to stay here, like this, with you.. Tell me you're glad we're mates. Tell me you're Kim Junmyeon, my second chance mate.. Don't give up so easily..! Tell me to hold on to you.. Tell me you won't leave me again.. please.."

"Yixing.." Junmyeon mutters shakily. "I don't want to make you think you have no choice but to stay with me. I can't knot. I can't be like every other alpha you want.. I can't be what Lay wants.. Though I badly want to? I can't. And trust me it hurts for me, too.. It hurts so much, Yixing. How I want to please you.. How I want to have you.. The thought of you leaving me hurts too much but if it's what you want, I can take that pain, as long as you're happy, Yixing.. I can let you go.. Because I love you.."

"Bad things happen when you say that," Yixing whispers and smiles bitterly. "That's exactly what you said before.. That time before you let them drug you.. before my most painful memory of you happened.. Junmyeon, whenever you say you love me, I'm afraid.. Because you also said that right before you injected the blood.." Yixing sobs. "Whenever you say that word, I'm so afraid, because what if, what if this time you gave up again, what if you'll do it again.. You say you won't, but you already did.."

Junmyeon breathes heavily and frowns. "Y-Yixing, what..?"

"Love is what fucks up everything, right? We believe we're protecting ourselves, or protecting someone else, making things work out, and it all seems right because of love.. But it's not, and it's painful.. You don't want to believe the truth so you make up lies to comfort yourself, and it just hurts more, doesn't it?" Yixing huffs and tries to wipe his tears with his own hands. "Just another chance.. Just one chance is what I wish to have. One chance to show you how lucky I felt because I had you, before you turned your back on me that day, before you abducted me and believed them, that that blood will make me love you unconditionally.. Before that pain, before I had to lose the memory of you.. Before I had to search for you everywhere not even knowing your name, your face, what you meant to me.. Before I lost you, I should've shown you I loved you so much.."