When There's Love, Light Will Always Shine Through

Ch. 42

Y/n's POV:

It's been a few days since Ariana and I left California and returned to New York. My mother and brother were sad to see us go and Ariana cried a little, while saying goodbye.

I still can't believe that I opened up to her about my fathers death. On the other hand, I'm even more surprised by the activities we did. I've never felt more comfortable with anyone, than I do when I'm with Ariana. I wasn't planning on taking our relationship to the next level that night, but it just felt so right and we were both feeling some type of way.

However, since that night, I've noticed that we've become way more touchy feely when we're together. Like for instance, at the airport, we ended up making out. It wasn't until I noticed how much attention we were bringing to ourselves that I pulled away. I could tell Ariana was a little saddened by my actions, but behind her sadness I knew she understood why.

We only came out to the world a couple weeks ago and I'm still trying to get comfortable with all the media and fans. I try my best, and I've gotten better, it's just hard. My whole life before Ariana was always kind of in the shadows. I never had to worry about others recognizing me in a crowd or asking me hundreds of questions about my personal life. It's caused me to have some serious anxiety and Ariana knows this.

One time, we got jumped by a few paps and they were nice, not like most. However, I hadn't nor was I prepared to be asked questions, and it caused me to have a small panic attack. Ariana noticed and told the people that we couldn't answer anymore questions as we had to get back to the buses. They kindly thanked us for our time and as soon as they left and were out of sight, I let my anxiety take over. I would have fallen to the ground if it wasn't for Ariana holding me up. It took her several minutes just to get me to calm down enough to where we could get back to the buses. It was horrible, It felt similar to how I used to panic, and it only made the whole situation harder for me. I never want to feel like that again. I've worked so hard to get to where I am now and I don't think I could ever come back from it, if it happened again.

"So, did anything special happen that I should know about or that you'd like to share with me?" Laura asks, whispering from her bunk.

"What'd you mean?"

She looks at me like "Are you stupid?". And I realize what she's referring too. I haven't told her that Ariana and I got closer, but she's obviously picked up on our new behavior.

"Oh you mean Ariana and I"

"Well duh, what else?" She says rolling her eyes.

"I think you already know what probably happened." I tell her.

Her eyes go wide, mouth staying open, but I can see her smirking behind it all.

"Don't even start"

"Why not? We should be celebrating!" She says.

"Shhh you're being too loud. I don't need everyone else knowing. And no we're not going out to celebrate."

"Was it that bad?" She asks.

"Wha-no. We just don't need to go out and celebrate."

"Ohhh so she was amazing then?" She teases.

"Oh my god Laura. I swear your brain runs on the conversation of other people's sex lives."

She just shrugs before going back to whatever show she was watching.

Like, is it too much to ask for my friends and family to stay out of my sex life? I already have the media on my back, why do I have to be open with everyone?

Frustrated, I peak out from my bunk to see if Ariana is nearby. I don't know how, but she has this ability to just calm me down with only her smile. It doesn't take me long to find her, although I don't partially like who shes talking with. I see her having what looks to be a deep conversation with Ricky. One of the other dancers, however, more importantly one of her ex's. I can't help but feel jealous and worried seeing them talk. Ariana told me about their past relationship and that she doesn't like him anymore. I wanna believe that he won't be a problem, but sometimes it's hard. The way he looks at her, I can tell that he still loves her. I don't think Ariana can sense it, because she never seems bothered or uneasy when she talks with him. Whether she knows or not, I don't like it. Ricky and I have barely ever talked and we've done it even less, since Ariana told everyone about our relationship almost two months ago. I always get a weird vibe from him now. Overall, All I know is that I don't like or trust him.

I continue to watch them and almost fall out of my bunk, when I see him kiss her hand goodbye.

Ohhh buddy, we're gonna have a problem if that continues.

As soon as he's gone, Ariana turns around and heads my way. So, I quickly roll over and pretend I'm asleep.

"Baby sorry I took so long, I'm here now. Wanna watch a movie?" Ariana asks.

I stay quiet.

"Y/n?" She says poking my side.

But I don't budge, I don't want her getting any wrong ideas.

After a few more failed attempts, I hear her sigh loudly, then the clicking of her heels, indicating that she left. I roll over and see Laura looking at me with a confused expression again.

I can't deal with her right now. I wave my hand at her and roll my eyes before turning back over in my bunk.

If Ricky thinks he can just flirt with my girl and get away with it, he has another thing coming...

To Be Continued...