The Beast's Rage

Not Okay

ELLIOTS POV

"Why the hell would you guys not tell me?" I yelled walking into the precinct. "Elliot you need to calm down." Cragen said as he led me to an interrogation room. "Now, what's the problem?" He asked shutting the door with Fin, Nick, and Amanda watching. "Why did you not tell me that he was a rapist?" I asked staring him in his eyes. He slowly nodded. "We were trying to avoid more problems. You woul-" "No. No!" I stood "You guys were 'avoiding problems' and I had to get told that she's going into an emergency surgery because there's a fucking wrench socket inside of her! Do you know that not even they know how bad the extent of the injuries are? She could get an infection-no, infections!" I said running my hand over my face. "Elliot none of us knew. Go back to the hospital, call us if she needs anything or if you need a break. Elliot?"

FINS POV

We stood outside the interrogation room. "...or if you need a break. Elliot?" Elliot was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. "She was raped. She's having surgeries. What else is this guy known for?" He questioned without looking up. We turned the volume down.

"Damn." I said as Amanda turned to me. "This is bad. How is she gonna come back from this one? Is it really that bad?" "Amanda just shut up. You didn't walk in that room. You didn't see how he had her. You have no right to ask if it was 'ThAt BaD'" Nick said. She threw her hands up "You're right. I'm sorry."

Elliot stormed out the room leaving Cragen standing there. "What happened?" "I told him what Lewis does to his victims."

OLIVIAS POV

I woke up in my room. The same nurse was sitting there reading a magazine. "What happened?" I asked as she looked up with a smile. "Hey, well you got out about an hour ago. We got the socket out, thank God and we performed the rape kit. You did wake up during that in pain, but that's because when we took the socket out we found you had a deep tear in your cervix that required us to perform a laparotomy. When you're all healed up you can come back and get the scar tissue removed."

"Um, would this ruin my fertility?" "Well, the damage was really bad, but if you get the scar tissue removed there is still a possibility that you could become pregnant."
"Wait! The girl! The little girl that was in the room with me?" I suddenly remembered. She let out a small laugh "That little girl is perfectly fine. She was shaken up, but no signs of rape or any harm. She left the same day she got here actually." "Okay. When can I leave." "Uh we need to keep you at least for tonight, but if you have someone to stay with you can go home with them tonight. They'll have to make sure you're okay and not doing too much because of the surgeries. They'll also need to help you change your bandages."

She got quiet and I could tell she was trying to tell me something. "Wha-what else happened? Did something go wrong?" I asked. She looked am me and frowned "Liv, when we performed the laparotomy we found something. You were pregnant. It was only about a week old, maybe, but the damage was far too great and it didn't make it." "So, I was pregnant with my rapist's baby." I could feel my breathing change. I couldn't catch my breath, and tears started flowing on my face.
Why Is this happening??
Olivia, honey, deep breaths. Come on, you don't need to have a panic attack, okay? Everything's okay." I could feel my breathing slowly go back to normal. That's when he stepped in the room.

ELLIOTS POV

I walked in to see the nurse comforting her while she cried. I went over to her and decided it was best not to ask.

When she finally calmed down she fell asleep. The nurse took me into the hall. "If I got it okay-ed by the doctors, would you be able to take her home with you? She wants to leave. We can give you a list of things that need to be done." She asked nervously. "Of course. Just tell me what to do."

After several forms and paperwork to release her we finally were able to leave. She was quiet the whole ride to my house. Deep in thought. I wasn't going to push her. As we got inside she looked down at the floor "Can I take a shower?" "Liv, there's no need to be hesitant to ask me something. I'll show you where it is. Do you need help?" I asked remembering the nurse said she may need help with showering. "Um getting in and out. Please." "Ok." I smiled and led her to the bathroom and let her get undressed and ready before I went in there.

LIVS POV

I took my clothes off. Glancing in the mirror I saw my body. My ruined body. So many marks and cuts. Hand shaped bruises everywhere. Then I saw it. What he carved in me when he said I would never forget him. On my hip is where he branded 'W. Lewis'' into me. The tears flooded my eyes.

There's always gonna be a piece of him on me. It's not going away. He's here. Forever. A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. "You okay?" "Uh yeah. You can come in" I said quickly wiping my tears and covering my body with a towel.
He gently lifted me bridal style and set me down in the shower before starting the water. Slowly increasing heat. "That's good." I said once it got warm not wanting it to get too hot. I closed the curtain and handed him the towel before he stepped out "Just call me if you need anything, Liv." "ok." "I mean it. I'm right here."

"El, I'm done." I said as I turned the water off. He came in and handed me the towel before helping me out. "Would you like to sit down so I can change your bandages?" "Um, no. I think I'll get it" I wanted his help, but I didn't want him seeing my body. Especially that big of a section. He gave a sad smile before walking out.

ELLIOTS POV

She came out twenty minutes later in the long sleeve shirt and sweats I laid out for her. Both mine so they wouldn't be too tight on her. She stood at the entrance of the living room with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at the ground. I was trying ease the tension "Don't be shy." I said with a little smile patting the cushion next to me, but I only made things worst.

LIVS POV

"Don't be shy" He said.

{flashback}
"Don't be shy, Olivia" he said as he dragged the sheath covered bread knife over my naked body. He had taken the restraints off of my legs. He climbed on top and kissed, bit, and licked his way down my body reaching my sex.

"No no..no. ugh- no." I whimpered as my body betrayed me. He only got excited and as soon as he heard what was happening he leaned back over top of me staring me in my eyes. Those same black eyes. He took the knife in his hand "Please no." I whispered. He smacked me in my face and shoved it inside me.

ELLIOTS POV

She stood there staring into space. Her body started trembling, her mouth open but no words came out, and tears started coming down her face. "Liv? Liv!" I exclaimed getting and catching her weak body before it fell to the ground. Her eyes were full of tears and glossed over. The nurse said this might happen. I touched her shoulders and turned her face so she was facing me "Liv come on. Snap out of it. He's not here, okay? He's not here it's me. It's Elliot." She gasped, trying to get air while blinking fast "That's right. Come back. It's Elliot. He can't hurt you."

She stared at me and burst into more tears. I
carefully carried her to the couch. She balled up beside me and cried while her whole body shook. I pulled her legs over mine and brought her body close to me so I could hold her. She resisted at first, but stopped as the sobs took over. I whispered soft things in her ear and rub circles on her back, but it worked very little. She continued to cry as she clutched my shirt in her hands, and about an hour later she had cried herself to sleep. Every now and again her hands would start to loosen up on my shirt, but she would reclutch it.

It was getting pretty late and I knew if she slept out here she'd be in more pain. Pain? Pain meds! Shit.
"Liv, you gotta take some medicine." I whispered. She mumbled something against me and shook her head. "Please. You're going to be in more pain." She didn't answer. I knew she wasn't sleep, but I'd let her think she had me fooled.

I sat there with her in my arms for a little longer. Her breathing evened out after a awhile. Every now and then she's let out a deep, struggled breath. I brought her body closer to me. Breathing in her hair. "You have no idea how much you mean to me. You're gonna get through this and I'm gonna be here to help you through it. No matter how hard it gets. I promise." I mumbled in her hair. I lifted her up carefully and carried her to my room, gently setting her down as she curled up onto one of my pillows. I stood in the door way staring at her damaged body clutched tightly to my pillow before I turned the lights off and went to the guest bedroom.