lucky charms ✧･ﾟ y.m [book 1]

nineteen

sorry for the depressing chapter, i'm just not ok right now and this is easiest to write for me at the moment.

<3

"Yoongi, why don't you do anything right?"

All he could do was stare back, tears filling his eyes at the hurtful words. At times, Yoongi's mother would vent out her frustration on her son, unable to take the pressure anymore. She never hurt him physically, but her words were enough to scar him.

"You're the reason why our family is like this, why your father is always angry. If you would just do things right, things wouldn't be this way."

His mother would sometimes be blindsided by her anger to see the effect her words had on her son.

Sometimes Yoongi wondered if she ever cared at all.

There was one day in particular, when Yoongi's father had hit him numerous times, to the point where he collapsed onto the floor, bruises littering his pale skin. Soon after, the man left the house, and Yoongi was left there, sobbing on the ground.

Usually, his mother would help him, but that day was different. Mrs. Min approached the boy, staring at him before saying cruelly, "You got what you deserved, Yoongi."

Those words, even though he was only seven years old at the time, always echoed in his mind when he was being abused by his father.

"You got what you deserved. . . ."

In a way, harsh words always tended to hurt more coming from his mother, even though his father said far worse.

The words his father said always hurt, but at times he even felt somewhat relieved when the man was screaming at him because at least he wasn't being hit.

Throughout middle school and high school, he grew more and more depressed, flashbacks from his childhood attacking his mind at the worst times. He felt trapped. Occasionally, he had panic attacks that left him a sobbing, heaving mess— though no one knew, with the exception of Taehyung, who helped him calm down.

Yoongi tried to keep as much about his past as he could from Jimin, for reasons he couldn't really explain. It's not that he didn't feel comfortable in telling Jimin such personal parts of his life, it was just that he didn't want to burden his best friend with his problems. Jimin knew that the Kims weren't his biological family, but he never asked why he was living with them because he knew it was a part of Yoongi's life that he wasn't willing to revisit.

Yoongi was damaged, but he tried to pretend that he was fine. Sure, it had all happened over ten years ago, but it affected him greatly, so much so that he still had nightmares that left him crying in his bed at three in the morning.

He could say that he was fine, but he knew he wasn't.

Yoongi needed someone to be there for him. Someone who could help him.

He just wanted for somebody to love him, somebody who could kiss all of his insecurities away and tell him that he was good enough. Somebody to tell him that he was beautiful, and that he shouldn't hate himself because of the countless scars on his body. Somebody to tell him that the words echoing in his head weren't true, that life was worth living and that he deserved to live.

He just didn't know that the person he was looking for was right in front of him.

<3

sorry again for the angsty chapter,, this wasn't really planned.. also sorry because this chapter is shorter than usual :/ anyway, thanks for reading and have a good day, my lovelies <3