Natasha Romanoff oneshots (for Female Reader)

Where is she?

So this is about endgame because I've finally recovered enough to write about it. Not enough to write about her dying scene though.

By the way, in this one you have fire powers or whatever the sciency name is.

"Y/n, y/n, wake up, they need us" Dr strange's voice cut through the blackness.

You open your eyes and see him doing his magic. The 'portal' opens and reveals a battleground covered with rubble. The first person you spot is Steve, standing in the middle in front of Thanos, being extremely dramatic.

Your eyes scan the crowd, searching for a specific face. When you don't see it, you panic but start to tell yourself that shes just hidden behind the rubble.

Everyone else suddenly charges forward and you follow, realising you missed Steve's heroic speech.

You fight off alien after alien, eyes constantly searching for her. The more time that passes, the more worried you get.

You catch Clint staring at you sympathetically and decide to ask him about Nat. You slowly fight your way over to him and up back to back with him.

"Where is she?" You ask when you get a break from the fighting.

He doesn't answer and you start to get worried.

"Where is she?" You repeat more forcefully.

He still doesn't answer and you feel panic boil in your blood.

"Clint look at me, Where is she?" You plead.

He finally looks at you and you see the answer in his eyes.

"Where's Nat?" You whisper, wanting him to say your wrong.

"Gone" He chokes out.

Everything around you seems to slow and you freeze.

Suddenly it all comes out and you scream. You slowly sink to your knees, time still in slow motion.

You see Carol crash through a ship as the first tear comes out of your eyes. Then Wanda fighting Thanos as three more escape. Peter passing the gauntlet to Carol, as your voice cracks. And then a blinding white light as your knees hit the ground.

The fire inside you exploded outward and you tried your best to protect your friends. You continue to scream as the fire expands, covering the entire battlefield.

When it clears, your teammates find you on the ground, still on your knees, staring blankly ahead, tears still pouring out your eyes.

Clint, knowing that you wont move by yourself, gently picks you up and carries you away. Soon, a jet has appeared an everyone is filing onto it.

The journey 'home' is silent, the only sound being your sobs.

You sit, elbows on your knees, hands clasped and thumbs bouncing off your teeth. Everyone is either staring at you, or looking anywhere but you.

When you land, you are at a S.H.I.E.L.D base in the middle of nowhere. Once again, Clint carries you off the jet and to your room.

You look around and see Natasha's jacket lying on the bed. The pain in your heart doubles and you gasp, the flow of tears tripling in speed.

You squeeze your eyes shut, refusing to look at the countless photos and memories of your girlfriend.

It hurt, every breath, every thought, they hurt. You curl up into a ball and pray that you could cry yourself to sleep.

You couldn't. Every time you came close another memory would surface and a knew wave of pain and nausea would follow.

So you just cried all night, cried and cried and cried, never tuning out of tears.

In the motioning you were still crying and you hadn't slept for a second. You didn't go downstairs for food and, eventually, Clint came up with some. He didn't say anything to you and you silently thanked him for that. You didn't want to talk.

The next few weeks were spent the same. You never came out your room and you only ate because Clint kept supplying you with food. You only slept when you fell unconscious from exhaustion.

After a month, the anger came. You started to spend more and more time in the training room, in front of a punch bag.

You would send punch after punch its way until your knuckles were raw and bleeding. This didn't stop you though and, almost everyday, Clint had to drag you away to stop you from hurting yourself.

You were a wreck, physically, emotionally and mentally. You wanted to curl up into a ball but, at the same time, you felt like killing all day long.

Eventually, your anger consumed you and you refused to let anyone help you. You were rude to the team and horrible to everyone around you.

They had put you back on mission briefly, to see if it would help, but almost immediately, you were taken of them. You couldn't follow orders and you were not a good team player.

You were useless to them and you knew the day would come when they would have to kick you out.

It didn't come though and you were thankful for that. You had nowhere else to go.

You had gathered all of Nat's stuff and kept it. You knew you weren't going t move on, so you hoarded her stuff and tried to feel as close to her as possible.

Sometimes it worked but not very often. You would cuddle her stuff at night and, during the day, you would wear her perfume.

The scent used to comfort you, let you know that Nat was with you, but now it was just a way to cling onto her.

You hadnt, and never would, move on.

A/n

I almost cried writing this, I hate it. It should have been Clint.

Now, before I actually cry, please leave requests

Thank youuuuu

Byeeeeee