çoxşaxəli

Wish To Unmiss You

The sun has gone to rest, the moon takes its place as the darkness begins to surround me.

Night had finally befallen me, wrapping the day in its dark blanket, filling the inky night sky with its specks of light - the sun slowly set against the horizon allowing the full moon rises to its glorious beauty.

Without you I am a tree stuck forever in winter, bereft of leaves and shivering under a blanket of frost. My world is cold, my limbs empty of the life they once had.

When you walked this earth I could never be alone no matter how near or far you were, but now that you are gone, the loneliness remains no matter how close others are.

Lying on my bed only to stare at the ceiling having all sorts of 'what if' trying to occupy my mind. This week gotta be the worst week of my life. Not only I have a fever, but I also have a broken heart.

Fever is many ways better than a broken heart because a broken heart does not heal. It leaves such an ugly scar on my heart.

My heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It is a shard in my guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull.

It feels like death just the same as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from my body and short circuits my mind.

What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of love I put my everything into.

And then there was darkness. Darkness suffocating my body like a damp, musty, thick blanket, clinging to every inch of my pale skin.

Once the darkness of the night is complete there is nothing more terrifying than light.

Looking at the darkroom then turn my gaze towards the lamp, I wonder if I perhaps leave the light on for the whole night, will you drop by and say you still love me?

*knock knock*

Hearing a knock on the door, I start to wonder who would want to visit me at this late at night because I'm sure everyone is already asleep by now.

Even so, I still walk my way to the door to unlock it still wondering who could that person be. Pulling the door towards me slowly as it makes a creaky sound, sure it can be slow, but I need to make sure about my safety too.

For all I know there could be a serial killer ready to kill me the moment I open the door for them to let them in.

Peeking through the small gap on the door, I saw a cute Chaewon wrapping herself with a paddy coat with an enormous baby cub plushie in her arm.

Damn, how can she slip through my mind? I remember how a night owl she is and how she would always crash into my house in the middle of the night asking for a sleepover.

"Can I sleep here tonight? I brought Minwon with us too," she carries the plushy trying to make a point but she looks much softer with all these fluffy stuff around her.

She's totally a baby. Every time we have a sleepover, she would bring that baby cub plushie with her with an excuse of not being able to sleep without it. Yeah, she's totally a wholesome baby.

At the same time, my phone's screen lights up randomly even though there's no notification. I'm sure of that because if there's really is a notification, it would leave a cute sound set by Chaewon.

If I keep my phone on for the whole night, will you call me later tonight and say you miss me too?

*Ring ring*