çoxşaxəli

Deathbed

In which Chaewon is on her deathbed with Minjoo by her side.

Inspired by a song and you probably know which.

Believe me when I said I cried very hard while writing this. I didn't know why I was crying, but I just did.
........................................................................

Her breath rasping in her lungs has awoken me from my dreamland as I roll over and worryingly glance at her face.

The pale moonlight cast a deathly pallor on her features and I could see the way her chest struggled to rise beneath the covers.

She sleeps as if nothing was wrong, but I knew better to know that something is going on especially when she struggled silently the past few days, even though she tried to hide her suffering from me.

"Why didn't you tell me about your sickness, Chae?"

I quietly took her thin slender hand in mine and held it tight as if I could keep her with me forever just by holding her hand.

But I knew I couldn't.

"I didn't want you to get worried about me. I want a normal day, Min. I don't want days to pass where you would cry because of me."

I got out from my side of the bed and dragged a chair to sit beside her as I pulled her to me and lay there with my head on her chest listening with pain as she drew breath after strangled breath.

"I'm dying, Min... When I went to the doctor this morning, he told me that I have only a few hours to live. It must have been a few minutes by now as I can feel my chest tighten and it hurts more than it used to be."

She keeps on massaging her chest trying to soothe the pain but we all know how doing that did nothing.

"Please, Chae," I begged the silent darkness as cold tears fell uncontrollably down my cheeks,

"Please don't leave me, I need you."

She lifts up her left hand with all her might just to rub the tears away from my cheek with her thumb before slowly caressing my red cheek, "I'm sorry, Min... I'm sorry... I can't do anything about it..."

Slowly, tears began to flow down her cheeks too but she didn't try to hide it. She just let it flow down her face knowing this is the last time she's going to see her lover.

With all the pain she has felt, she still manages to sit up straight to hug her lover but the pain didn't stop. Instead, it became stronger but she tries to not whip or show any sign of her suffering.

"Please stay awake, Chae... Please don't close your eyes yet. I'm not ready to lose you. I don't think I can. TELL ME WHAT TO DO, CHAE! Do I make a cup of coffee for you to stay awake?! Do I get you up from the bed?! JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

The silent tears that have been shed turn into a hysterical cry. It is as if a well where all tears are kept has been broken down and it flows in an unbroken stream.

Clutching Chaewon's shirt tightly, I began to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours.

I cry as if my brain was being destroyed from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of my pores. From my mouth came a cry from so raw that even the eyes of Chaewon were suddenly wet with tears.

"Listen to me closely, Min. Listen to what my heart has to say. Everything I'm about to say is sincerely from my heart."

She looked at my eyes. Those big brown eyes, the ones I fell in love with. Every feature was perfect, the brown darkened as it neared her pupils, creating the most astonishing ombre.