inspired by the song cherry originally performed by harry styles. | this is a women's version. | play the song (cherry) while reading this and imagine yourself in an apartment where every light was closed and you were staring at your window where you could see the whole city with the feeling of coziness while wrapped in a comforter and then sebastian is beside you, staring at you.
i'm staring at the window where i could see the whole city. it was so chill and quiet. the lights were off and i'm covered in comforters. everything was perfect- i mean no, no it was not.
"i'm really sorry." was all he could say. i know he's looking at me i can barely see it. i couldn't face him, i just couldn't. "thank you for those 9 amazing years, i would always keep it in my heart." i mumbled quietly. then i heard him sigh.
"i'll miss you." he said. i then turned my face to look at him. he will miss me? "yes. i will miss you. you are just the most amazing woman i've ever met." he said while forcing a smile. then i felt a tear coming out of my eye. "you can go. if we keep on doing this, i will just go cry like a baby." i muttered. he holds my hand and gave me a kiss on my forehead before standing up.
"just don't you call her baby, don't you call her what you used to call me." i mumbled and he gave me a weak smile.
"i will never ever forget you. always remember that i'm here, always here." he said and he left. then there it goes. tears, heartache, sadness, everything. i fucking felt everything. my bones were like going to break. he was my first and who knew that he would be my last.
sebastian and i were both in love for the whole 9 years. we were sweet, romantic, funny and most important of all, we were happy. but that changed on december and that was 2 months ago. time was our problem, we never got the chance to be with each other even on celebrating our anniversaries but thank god we had the chance to celebrate holidays.
lately we kept on fighting over little things. it's like everything we do hurts each other. until this one night we thought of 'why are we like this?' it was that night where him and i fight over some stupid pasta, see? little thing. we just had a question for the world, 'why did we have problems on our time and why now?' because i'm sure in those 9 years there are more reasons to have a problem with time but it never became a problem. but why now? where we were both in 9 years and maybe, soon going to have a family.
until this night. we finally ended it. i don't want to end it, i still wanted to fight but he was right. maybe we were just not meant to be. we did grow together but we are just not meant to be.
-
one month of being a shit. that's me. it's been one month since sebastian and i broke up. no one knew in our circle of friends but family does. we just- i don't know. i couldn't even talk to my friends when it comes to him. i just couldn't take it.
couldn't take the fact that the person who's with me for almost ten years is now gone and will never ever come back.
here i go again, i cried like a baby. same time when him and i broke up. and yes, same place. the view of the city was amazing and the coziness. i wrapped myself in a comforter again and i cried. i looked over the city and thought of him.
everyday. nothing changed.
i then gasped a little as i heard a doorbell. i sighs and stood up. as i open it my heart broke again, not in half but in pieces. "sebastian?" i asked as i quickly wiped my tears away. "[y/n]... i can't do it." he said. i furrowed my eyebrows, "come in first." i said as he walked inside and sat on the same spot where him and i broke up.
"so tell me, what you can't do?" i asked looking at him. "i still love you." he mumbled. "i do too but we couldn't. we couldn't anymore." i said while my voice were breaking. "i couldn't fucking live without you." he muttered. i gave him a weak smile, "me too but the world doesn't want for the both of us to be together again." then i cried again.
"hey come here." he pulled me closer and i cried on his shoulder while hugging him back. "i don't care if the world doesn't want us. we will make our own world, darling. i love you and always you." i broke the hug and stars at his eyes.
"you're the only person i'll call baby until in the end of the line. i love you, and we will make this work. i know we can do it. nine years was amazing but nine years and more is much better, especially when with you." i wiped a tear from his face and he holds my hand.
"i love you. everyday. please, let's make this work." he said and i smiled and nodded. he smiled and pulled me into a passionate kiss. as we broke it, i giggled. "i miss your giggle." he mumbled. "damn, i've missed you. i never got the chance to even see your damn smile for a month." i said.
"you'll get the chance to see this face everyday from now on again." he kissed my forehead and i hugged him. "thank you, and i love you forever." i said. "i love you too, doll. always and forever."
