mattia polibio: my boy

not myself

you woke up to the smell of dinner. it smelt like chicken. it smelt good. you haven't had an actual meal ever since 2 weeks ago.

probably explains why you were making the stupidest decisions ever lately.

dude, michael HIT you! and you gave him a second chance! if he fucks it up, you're goneee. you're leaving.

wait, you should've left the moment he hit you! what were you thinking?

oh yeah, you weren't thinking. but you gave him a second chance already, it was a done deal.

you walked downstairs.

dad: well well well, look who's decided to join us
mom: grab a plate and join us sweetie

you rubbed your eyes and yawned. your brain still felt fried.

y/n: where's y/s/n?
mom: he's decided to have dinner with the polibio's.

your heart twinged with pain hearing that name.

dad: you've apologized to mattia, right?
y/n: yeah.

i tried.

mom: listen babe, we're sorry we were so harsh on you. mistakes get made, it's ok. as long as you learn from them, right?

your mind was still a little hazy, you were itchy.

y/n: yeah.

you had your first full meal in 2 weeks. you let out a moan. you haven't moaned since mattia.

ha.

y/n: it's really good
mom: we're glad to hear that.

as you sat there eating dinner with your mom and dad, things felt almost....

normal.

you made sure to enjoy it.

but, nothing lasts forever.

you couldn't get your mind off those pills sitting in your stash upstairs. you had fentanyl in this house. right this moment.

y/n: i'm full. i'm going to go shower. and probably sleep. i'm tired.
dad: really? didn't you just take a nap?
y/n: yeah but i'm really tired. and my stomach hurts.
mom: it's ok, it's fine. go ahead babe.

you hugged and kissed them goodnight.

and you went straight for a pill.

💭just one💭

you took it and put some music on. you waited for the showers water to warm up as you stripped.

and as you stepped into the shower....

it hit.

you stood there, one leg in the shower and one leg out, naked.

💭just.... breath💭

chamber of reflection by mac demarco began to play.

oh god, you felt so good.

you stepped fully into the shower and just stood there. you smiled as the hot water ran down your body, through your hair.

spend some time away...

what were you supposed to be doing again? oh yeah, showering.

getting ready for the day you're born again

the fog made things even more hazy.

💭 ahhh, let's see. where was the shampoo? 💭

spend some time alone

this was happiness. this was a world where mattia was here with you. where your parents hadn't acted like they were bipolar or some shit. where they showed their love for you. where michael didn't have anger issues and made you feel safe.

understand that soon you'll run with better men

it took you a while to finish showering. being that you had trouble staying concentrated. you dropped the stupid body wash 3 times.

after you finished showering you wore the lingerie mattia bought you and hugged yourself on your bed. and you laid there. staring at you ceiling fan spin. and spin. and spin. and soon, you were spinning with it.

alone again....
alone again....
alone again....
alone again....
alone
-
-
-
-
a/n: looks like you're becoming addicted 😬
i wonder when mattia is going to stop being stubborn and set things straight 🤔🙂