mattia polibio: my boy

dinner

you sat in your room. not moving. just... breathing. you had already gotten ready for the dinner, which took a lot of energy. plus your mini outburst earlier.

💭why am i like this. 💭

then you heard your doorbell ring.

fuck.

this would be awkward. you got up and walked downstairs. you entered the living room and saw mattia. followed by his parents... and gian.

welp. 

you tried to smile at them, but you knew it looked fake. you knew this time would come, to apologize sooner or later. your's and mattia's parents were great friends. of course you'd have to encounter them again. you walked towards them.

y/n: hi. i'm sorry. for everything.

m/m: it's all ok sweetie. we know what you've been through, and we don't want you worrying about anything further. 

m/d: you're all good y/n.

you looked over at gian. you apologetically smiled at him. he didn't say anything. just awkwardly smiled back.

you couldn't bring your eyes up to look at him. you guys exchanged words, yes, but it still felt like you guys were hiding things from each other. like there was still unspoken words. 

m/m: why don't we let these two talk?

mom: hmmm. i guess. when you two are ready come on in for dinner. 

you dreaded this. mattia's dad moved so that you and mattia could walk outside and speak out on your porch. the door shut. and right then and there it was just you, mattia, and the jasmine flowers.

mattia: soo... we both fucked up.

y/n: yeah. 

mattia: i'm sorry. i shouldn't have done what i did. i wasn't even that interested in her. i guess i was just scared to lose you, which i did. not in the way i would've thought, but it happened. and so i started talking to her. so that i wouldn't be lonely, i guess.

y/n: and in the end you ended up breaking not just her heart but mine too.

mattia: i know. i fucked up.

y/n: yes, you did. but i did too. 

mattia: ok but you were crossfaded. i wasn't. that's what makes it even worse.

y/n: mattia, be honest. do you still love jenna?

he was silent for a while.

mattia: i don't know. but i do know that you're the only girl that crosses my mind everyday. like nonstop. 

you knew he still had a little love for jenna. even though he acted as if he didn't, you knew he did. but you couldn't help it. you didn't blame him. 

y/n: it's fine to say you still have a spot for her in your heart. you and her had a strong connection. i just, sorry. i think it's my insecurities getting the best of me right now.

mattia: can we just be good?

y/n: yeah. i'm sorry i hurt you while i was hurting. 

mattia: same.

and like you expected, he hugged you. you missed his hugs. you missed being in his arms. 

mattia: so what are we?

he said pulling back.

y/n: let's just start over. for real this time. like we said.

mattia: ok so friends?