mattia polibio: my boy

in your arms

you were on a steady path to living a normal life again. you've been taking your medications, and listening to what your therapist told you to do. erika decided to not go back to school until next year, which sucked, but it was her decision. erika hid a lot of her feelings, so you didn't know at times what she was really going through. nikki, gael, and jordan stayed your friends. they reminded you a lot about drugs though, but they understood. your math teacher in first period knew what happened, so she just gave you a pass on the project that was assigned.

you and mattia were currently hanging out in his room. you were supposed to go home a while ago but it was raining. yeah, you lived right next to him, but might as well just stay with mattia until it had stopped raining.

it was a saturday. his LED lights were set to a blue. it was raining outside. the vibe was set. he had some slow songs playing. you snuggled into his arms, inhaling his scent you missed. the scent he left on your bed. the scent that made you feel safe and at home.

take my mind

and take my pain

you were still having trouble sleeping without the sleeping pills. you were scared most of the time. scared you'd wake up to see michael standing, towering over you. or someone associated with him. but when you were in mattia's arms, you felt safe. like nothing could get to you.

like an empty bottle takes the rain

mattia's arms curled around you, his hands resting on your shoulders. your legs were wrapped up in his, your bodies tangled together. he was scrolling through his phone, through all his social media apps. your eyes began to flutter shut.

and heal

heal....,

heal, heal

you eventually fell asleep in his arms. not something you did very often while laying with him. but you were tired. and you felt safe. so you fell asleep.

and take my past

and take my sense

big mistake.

michael: he doesn't FUCKING WANT YOU

*slap*

michael: you wanna know why?

mattia's fan #1: because you're fucking ugly

cynthia/jenna: and you'll never be me.

you couldn't tell if that was cynthia or jenna.

but in this moment you felt as if you didn't compare to their beauty.

and you were being choked. you couldn't breathe. but michael wasn't there to choke you. no one was there choking you.

except for your depression.

like an empty sail takes the wind

he's just using you to cope for his loneliness.

he doesn't love you. no one does.

and heal

heal.....,

heal, heal

you woke up, being shook. you were sobbing and shaking and gasping for air.

💭welp. this is fucking embarrassing💭

mattia: y/n! oh my god.

he held you tight. close to him. but you could barley move. you were frantically looking around.

you were scared. and for a second you didn't feel safe.

even in mattia's arms.

and tell me somethings.....

last

mattia: what were you dreaming about? you scared the shit out of me.

you couldn't even speak. his hands comfortably caressed you.

the look of fright prominent on your face.

and tell me somethings....

last

mattia: do you want me to get you something? water?

you were tired. how long was this going to last?

take a heart

and take a hand

you gave into his arms. and cried.

like an ocean takes the dirty sand

you shook your head into his chest and just held him. tightly.

and heal

heal....,

hell, heal

he gave you some time to calm down. he petted your hair and held you, kissing your head.

mattia: you wanna tell me?

y/n: it was just... a nightmare.

mattia: obviously. but of what?

y/n: everything. everyone.

mattia: tell me.

your breath hitched and you sighed. your therapist did say you should talk, and just speak. let things out to people you trust.

take my mind

and take my pain

y/n: it was of michael and everyone was just degrading me. basically. and i had this feeling that i couldn't breath. and that i wasn't... good enough for you. i guess. but i'm trying. to love myself.

like an empty bottle takes the rain

he was silent. the rain pattered on the window, the lights casted against your guys's figures, and you just laid in his arms.

mattia: i... you're so beautiful to me. we're trying our best here. and i'm trying to love myself too. we're in this together baby.

he said rubbing the side of your arm.

and heal

heal....,

hell, heal

y/n: i love you.

you haven't said those words to him, like that, in so long.

mattia: i love you too.

he held you protectively.

and you lay there in his arms.

mattia: i'm right here baby

and tell me somethings.....

last