mattia polibio: my boy

heaven or hell?

mattia's pov
i was going to do it. i was going to talk to her after so long. even though the whole world compelled us away from each other, they didn't know us. they didn't know our past, the love we felt and exchanged. taylor was right. i can always depend on her to help me see more. i guess it just took a girl and not one of the boys to see the other side.

i was stubborn. i know.

but now it'd all be put in the past. i'll set things straight and leave with no bad blood.

i was low key catching feelings for allison. she was so sweet and down to earth. she was pretty too.

i'll see how everything goes.

regular pov
FUCK.
💭i need to shit but i can't.💭

anyways, it was the period before last period. but... you weren't at school. you were at home. you had puked in the nurses office and said you had a fever.

nurse: you need to go home immediately. you do not look too well

no shit. your dad dropped you off at home and you instantly carried out your plan.

dad: bye. love you
y/n: love you too

to get sooo high you can't breathe.

you walked up the stairs, each step a burden.

you were tired.
you felt like shit.
it felt as if you couldn't see clearly, or think straight.

you have NEVER felt so numb.
so empty.
so insecure.
you had stopped fighting. it wasn't worth it anymore.
why does everyone have to make you feel like you're not good enough?
like shit.
for gods sake your own parents!
they were one of the main reasons you wanted to run.
next to michael, then yourself.
then the whole fucking internet.
every second of your fucking life someone would bash you. whether it's your parents, michael, some person on the internet. yourself.
there was no way out.
there's nothing worth anything anymore.

like if the whole entire fucking world were to crumble right now, right this moment, you'd open your arms, lay down, and crumble with it.

you held the pills in your hand.
3.
since your tolerance was slowly going up. or so you had thought.
you had all the happiness in your hands.

and you breathed it in.

mattia's pov
roshuan texted me and said y/n wasn't in last period with him.

what the fuck?

was she ditching? did she go home?

i unblocked her on imessages and sent her a text.