mattia polibio: my boy

regret in your tears

mattia's pov

forever in my mind....
only you

i walked into the room and her parents weren't there. they were probably filling out paper work and shit.

i want you to live
i want that more than anything in the world

all i could see was her.

her body just laying there. she herself wasn't even there. she was in a coma.

the pieces in my life....
go away with you

i stood in the doorway with hesitation. i haven't been in the same room with her alone in so long. i wasn't even with her right now. i was just with her body.

i want you to fight like hell to stay with us

i slowly walked over to the chair next to her bed. i don't know why but i grabbed her hand, rubbing my thumb along her knuckles like i used to. her hands were so cold. she was so pale. the bruises were prominent, all over her arm.

forever in my mind... only you

then the memories started coming back. and it hit hard.

but with everybody else gone, i know, it might not be what you want, it might be too hard for you to keep fighting, so

our first date.
our inside jokes.
the times we'd babysit.
the play fights.
the sex.

fuck.
it hurt.

i hated how things got to her this bad to where she would do this to herself.

she was in pain,
she was hurt.

this was the same y/n i once held happily.
the one that i laughed with. kissed. loved. or was she the same?

the pieces in my life run away with you

i wanted to take it away. all her pain, i just wanted it gone. but it was too late.

if you wanna go, i want you to know it's ok.

i brought my head down and kissed her hand.

i still cared for her.
i still loved her, just not the same way i used to. but i still loved her.

i couldn't just throw away what we had. i had allison now, yeah, but y/n will always have a spot in my heart.

and i'm pretty sure if we were to talk again like we used to i'd fall back in love with her like i did.

i was unsure about my feelings right now and unsure of what to say.

forever in my mind

mattia: i don't know if you can hear me, but uhh, i don't care. i'm,  so... fucking sorry.

i was all alone on my own, it's ok though

mattia: i tried to not care about you at all but i was stubborn. i was being stubborn and i held a grudge and i said things i regret. and did things i regret.

do you really love me, do you really trust me?

the tears came. and wouldn't stop. i felt so stupid.

i was down bad, feelin' sad, feelin' sorry

mattia: it was just a stupid kiss and i could've saved this from happening.

now you really gone, and i cant get you to call me

mattia: i wish i could... turn back time.