mattia polibio: my boy

y/n's mind

you couldn't sleep.

you and mattia left things on good terms, so shouldn't you be happy? isn't that what you wanted?

you weren't happy. nothing felt any different than it did just a few days ago.

you lay in bed. you began shaking, and you felt really... fuckin sad. it was never this bad. you felt like you were being weighed down. literally.

you wanted someone to stab you in the gut with a knife and twist it, until you died.

oh damn. what the-

your own thoughts were scaring you.

you began rocking back and forth on your bed, sweating. you began to cry. your head felt like it was on fire. the sound of cries being suppressed filled your room.

you felt so hated. by everything in this whole entire fucking universe. you were sad, sweaty, shaking, hopeless, empty, and you wanted to go back to sleep for good.

y/n: i just want to shoot up

you said under your breath.

💭when's the last time i was horny?💭

like, 2 months ago.

wait, why haven't you been horny?

💭do i have addiction AND depression? hm. i'd be better off dead.💭