mattia polibio: my boy

decisions

you weren't the same person you were a few months ago. you've seen it all. heaven, hell, death, and more.

you've seen evil, and you've seen love.

unfortunately, more evil than love.

mattia was placed in your life and showed you the most love you've ever seen. then you fucked that up.
you get an abusive boyfriend and can't be good enough for him and he fucks you up.
you constantly disappoint your family and you guys just fuck eachother up.
you can't even tell when someone is showing true affection or not.

you were just one big fucking fuck up.

you told the cops what michael had done. if he was going to have you killed once he gets out,

so be it.

your parents were mad. you could tell. but what did you expect? you made some really stupid decisions. you should've never got involved with michael. you should've introduced him to them. you should've done a lot of things you didn't do.

you prepared to get lectured at home.

after spending a few days in the hospital to heal and get questioned, you were cleared to go home. only for a few days, till you go to rehab. they got you therapy too.

how cute.

you were currently in the car. there was an awkward silence. you didn't even know your own family at this point. you looked out the window and watched the scenery pass by. it was gloomy. the trees swayed slowly back and forth.

slowly.

you got flashbacks to when you lay half dead, breathing slow.

yikes.

what had mattia meant by
'i still love you, just not the same way i used to'?
did he love you the same just not as a lover? or did he still love you as a lover just not as much?

you did still love him. you just didn't know why it was so hard to tell him that in the hospital. were you pushing him away to protect him? or was all your trust just gone? since when did you have this wall around your heart that won't let you express anything for anyone or anything?

mom: get in the house.

you hadn't noticed you got home. you looked over at mattia's house. what were you going to do about him? where did you guys stand?

you got out and walked in your house. last time you saw this place you overdosed. scary.

dad: we are going to your room and looking for any other drugs you have in there.

ha. good luck bitches.

they really emptied your room out. but didn't find one single thing.

mom: you are SO lucky. so lucky that god is looking out for you.
dad: isn't that michael guy the one you said was your friend?
mom: yes, the one she said she met on like, the first day. get on the same page as us?
dad: i don't even know what to say right now. we tried our VERY hardest. to prevent ALL of this from happening to you.
mom: and it fucking happens. are you happy? for an own mother to see her daughter do this to herself. it's painful.
dad: why? is it that hard for you to just abide by our rules?

she was crying. and you were mad. all of a sudden you got this burning rage within you. you went from sad to mad realll fuckin quick. it seemed like the only emotions you knew these past months. but you've been feeling more angry these past few days for some reason.

you snapped.

y/n: I ALMOST FUCKING DIED AND YOU'RE MAD AT ME?!

their eyes widened and they looked mad themselves, all of a sudden.