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⚡Hey, My Mom Hates Me⚡

Hey, guys! How have you been doing? Is everything alright?

I'm sorry I haven't been posting oneshots, it's a bit hard to write right now. I guess I just need to vent and talk with somebody.

It's my mother again. I can't ever meet her expectations, I can't even communicate with her. She saw some bad grades from online school and called me. She just told be she has no faith in me, she doesn't think I'm trying and that I'm a failrule. I told her that I feel like a failrule and she only said "Well, you'll be one until you fix your grades." I feel like for her my worth is based on grades and looks.

She has told it many times but now I just can't hold back crying. You see, she critisizes my weight and tells me I'm getting bigger, but she never said a word when you could count my ribs and I was probably underweight. Now I'm just skinny and still gaining like a normal teen but she can't get it. She even tells my smile is awful, like I can fix it. I can't talk with her.

She has even told me she thinks my best friends hang out without me. No wonder why, she says.

You see, I usually don't even try to listen to her, but sometimes it still hurts and I have to hold back crying in front of her, or she calls me weak. Now I just reached my breaking point. Next to her I have no right to show any emotion other than happiness and content, even fake. With her crying is never an option, never was.

I can't talk with my dad, he has watched me weep like toddler and still has done nothing. I'm more of my brother's laughstock than a sister so he really isn't an option either.

Even my grandma, the only person I feel like I can freely talk with, told me I'm kind of a failrule and now I just don't know what to do anymore.

The only person that actually tried to cheer me up and give me a shoulder to cry on is my best friend, but she can only do so much and I don't know what I can do about my mom. That girl is the only person that has never said that my interests and things I love aren't uselless and a waste of time and space.

Honestly, she and you guys are the only people that try to give a shoulder to cry on and not blame me. And hey, the person with the profile pic of a puppy, thank you. I fucking cried when you wanted to listen to me. Thank you.

All I can do now is just lay and listen to music to try and calm myself down. I  just want to fly away, or fall asleep and never wake up. At least if something like that happened I wouldn't be a bother to anyone anymore.

Update : hey, guess what? My mom just called me and again said I'm a dissapointment. But you know what? She, again, isn't fucking satisfied with the second best grade. She said it isn't like me, I suddenly became some other person she never knew. Yeah, next time you have a kid listen to what they say and you'll never suddenly meet a stranger you gave life to. My grandma says I'm the most irresponsible person in the family and oh well fuck it. At least you guys are with me and I won't have to look at my mom until about tomorrow. If anything happens I'll tell you, thank you for all the support. And to everybody that has it rough too, could you do me a favor? Please take care of yourself. You're the only one you we have. Could you do that for me?

Update 2 - coming home: Eyo, guess what. So I'm walking home bc I want to slow down and brace myself for what might happen when I get home. And as I'm walking it starts raining. Like pouring down. And I'm standing uder a tree and I'm like "Well, shit. This might continue for a hour." And I called grandpa to come pick me up before I die from hypothermia bc at this point my thin, summer hoodie is almost completely soaked. And now I'm probably ill.

But about my parents' reaction... I thought they might shout, get angry and possibly throw some stuff around. Hell, I even had a panic attack at the thought of going home! But as for them... they just talked with me. They stayed completely calm, like they possibly expected it. And now I'm feeling terrible. It felt like for them it was nothing new, like they got used to me fucking up constantly. And bc of this I began to space out even more and my mom wouldn't take me spacing out for excuse I didn't write down everything today, so now I have a bit more to study. Maybe I am the problem here, I'm not sure anymore.

That's all for now, I'm working on the requests. I hope you have a nice day, keep yourself safe! Thank you for listening 💛💖💛