Forget me | Yenyul

XVI: Ice cream

We ate our food in silence. I dont know why we're not talking right now but I hope we fix this.

"How was your day?" My day? "I dont know, I spent most of it thinking"

"Thinking? That's new" Should I tell her about me remembering or not yet? I'm still unsure on how things might go.

Wait ... Ahhh! My head is hurting again. I rubbed my temple and waited for it to stop.

"Stop all your nonsense you're lying!"

What was that? A memory? Why does it have to hurt everytime I have one.

"Are you okay?" Yuri went next to me and held me. I just nodded assuring her. I sat up straight and stopped rubbing my temple to stop making her worried. But it still hurt.

"Are you sure you're okay? Tell me if it still hurts" I waved my hand and told her not to worry. I'm sure i'll be fine.

"About yesterday? Is it okay if we talk about it?" Her worried face was still there but she nodded.

"What about it?" She asked a simple question but I cant seem to think of what to say.

What about it? I dont know. I mean ... is there something to talk about?

"Ahhhhhh nevermind" I stood up and took our plates to the sink. Yuri was still sitting there while I washed our dishes.

"I'm going upstairs" I nodded as I continued washing the dishes.

I know that i'm ready to say yes to Yuri's request yesterday. But I dont know how to say it. It will be too weird if I just say Yes out of nowhere.

I finished doing the dishes and took a bath. After that I went to our room. I found her in bed staring at the ceiling.

"How was your day?" I said as I went next to her. She shrugged. "Normal. I just watched stuff and ate food" I nodded, I have no idea how to move our conversation forward.

I turned to her side, she was still staring at the ceiling. She kept on sighing but I didn't dare to ask why. This may be a little weird for her but it's now or later.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and made her face me. "Why?" I stared into her eyes and gave her a soft smile. She did the same to me. "What's the problem?" I dont know how to say it in words. My heart is just beating so fast.

I moved closer to her and just kept on staring. She didnt move and just let me do anything. "Is there something bothering you?"

I held her cheeks and made her look at me. "You already have my attention. What is it?"

I didnt know how to answer her. It all just feels weird for me. But I know that my mind is only thinking of one thing. It's kiss her.

I went closer to her as our lips touched. Her eyes widened as we both just stared at each other. She didnt move as I just felt her soft lips touch mine. After a few seconds I moved away.

She was still in shock and was just staring at me. I felt like my whole body was also in shock. "Ye-yes, i'll be you-your girlfriend"

The mood was now awkward and she still didnt move. To relieve the tension I decided to leave the room. So I stood up and went outside of the room.

I went to my old bedroom and just sat there quietly. What am I suppose to say to her? It feels like i've sinned.

I just sat here for a few minutes thinking of what to do. But I unfortunately found no answer. Should I be confident? I mean, we're official now aren't we? We should celebrate or something. Or maybe I shocked her too much.

Knock knock knock

"Unnie, do you want to eat ice cream?" I opened the door and saw Yuri smiling widely. She grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. I took the ice cream from the fridge and grabbed two spoons.

We ate next to each other quietly. I thought it wouldnt be awkward anymore but I was wrong. "Joyul ... ahhhh~" She opened her mouth as I fed her ice cream. She gave me a giggle then placed her head on my shoulder.

"Unnie ... I think my memories are coming back" she removed her head then looked at me. So I guess I wasnt the only one who's been getting headaches. "What about?"

"There's someone, she was looking for me. And I was crying in a dark room. But then there was this girl, she found me but I didnt want to get out of the room. I forgot the other details and I still dont get what that memory is all about" It seems to me that she was very lonely in that memory. "I think it might be related to the suicide thing. You seem to be lonely there" she slowly nodded.

"To tell you the truth after that memory popped up, I felt scared. It was as if my past life was too dark and gloomy but there was something stopping me from leaving. I'm glad that now i'm with you" i'm glad to be with her here too. I grabbed and held her hand.

"My memories are also coming back" she thinked for a second. "Is that why your head was aching earlier?" I nodded.

"What I remember is I think a few days before I tried to ... yeah. I was calling someone but she was busy or something. I forgot what that was all about. Then there was a girl, she looked like smiley face unnie ..."

"From the tattoo shop?" I nodded.

"... she tried to convince me to not do it. I'm pretty sure she was a stranger that time. But I dont know, I think I tried to kill myself because of a phone call" she smiled.

"That would be silly. But knowing you, it's possible" maybe it is possible. But who was the person that I called?

"Unnie, if all your memories come back. Would you still promise to be with me?" I gave her a look, she's still worried about that. "Of course I would. Those memories wouldnt change anything"

"What if you found out something that would make you leave me. Would you still stay?" I dont get why she's saying this right now but I dont feel good about it. "I would. I promise to stay with you even with our memories coming back"

"I'm still scared. I feel like we could loose each other anytime. Like i've said before, what if there's something I dont want to know about myself and my past. Once your friends take you back to your old life, would that mean the end of us?

It will be like as if we did a free trial re-do of our lives. And when the day comes, Does that mean goodbye for both of us? You might say you'll stay now but you dont know what will happen. That makes me scared, the past makes me scared" I pulled her in for a hug.

"I promise to never leave you. I might not know what will happen to us but I promise to stay with you" I removed myself from the hug then went to the fridge. I got another tub of ice cream.

"Here, let's eat more ice cream. It'll make you feel better" I grabbed a big spoonful and fed her. She smiled and also fed me.

"You're right. I cream does make me feel better, thank you unnie" I gave her a smile as we continued eating our ice cream.

She has a lot of worries inside her head right now. I know it's not right to just ask her. I should probably wait for her to tell me. The only thing that I can do now is to make her happy.

She's done it for me a million times. This is the only way I could repay her. Her smile makes me smile and that's good enough for me.