My body shakes as I stare at the burnt flesh of the dead body I'm standing beside.
I swallow and fall to the floor, my eyes widened, my breathing becomes ragged, and I feel like passing out.
No, this cannot have happened again!
No!
No!
No!!!
A sob escapes my lips and the tears leak down my face.
"What's wrong with her?" I hear a voice ask, my eyes shut and I scream, throwing my head back, I scream until my throat hurt, and I scream until I laugh.
Laugh at myself.
Because even I, I don't know who I am.
I don't know what to do when I'm crazy.
And I most certainly do not know how to figure myself out.
I craddle my face in my hands, letting the wet tears soak my fingers.
Warm hands wrap around me and I turn and sob into the shoulder.
I cannot believe I let myself kill someone again, and I made him kill himself, I gave him no other choice but to take his own life.
I watched him kill himself, and I laughed at that.
But look at me now, crying all the anger and pain away.
I clutch onto the shirt and cry harder, feeling my body shake from the hard sobs that rack through my ribs, I shake my head and cry, hating myself for letting this happen to someone again.
It takes about an hour until I'm done crying, my head aches and my nose itches, my body feels so tired and I sniffle, holding the body close to me.
Not once did I let go of him, loving the scent of apples and mint on him. I swallow and relax into him he coos, rubbing his hands over my back.
I close my hands and part my lips.
"Why haven't you left me?" I ask and he sucks in a deep breath.
"I don't know." He says and I shake my head, "You just witnessed me make someone kill himself, I set him on fire and made him slit his own throat, so why haven't you left? My mother didn't need to see that before she left, so you must also leave, like everyone else." I laugh at meself.
"The guys don't leave you." He says, his voice quiet. "Yes, they did, they left me because they can't handle me after I'm done being crazy, but you stayed, why?"
He looks up, breathing for a while before he answers.
"I really don't know, Kai, I care a lot about you, and I don't think running away will show that I do." He says, I know this must be hard for him, his voice reveals it all.
"No one should care about me, I'm mad! I'm a fucking psycho!" I yell and lift my head up, throwing my hands to the sky. The tears resurface and fall down my face, "No one should care, no fucking body, I hurt everyone, I make them leave me! No one should be around me because I end up hurting and destroying them!" My voice cracks, the tears pour down my face like a waterfall.
He pulls me to him and I straddle him, he holds my face in his hands. I look down, crying.
"Look at me Kai." He says in a commanding tone, my eyes find his grey ones and I look directly into them.
"You don't destroy anything Kai, you make things beautiful, you bring color into the lives of the people around you, you hold yourself together so everyone can be happy, Kai, you do not realize how happy people are when you're around."
YOU ARE READING
River
Teen Fiction"I'm what you call a psychopath, ever since that day, I craved the feeling of hurting someone, up until I was fourteen, when it happened. Every time I hit someone, I craved more, until I saw blood, I wouldn't stop, keep doing it, until the person co...
