Chasing my Dream

Chapter 16

I woke to someone rummaging in my closet.  "Morning princess now you've been lost all weekend and it's time to reclaim your life" Gerry explained.  Holding some clothes in his hands as he walked out of my closet.

"Come on I'll run you a bath and wash your hair.   Like I did when you were little" Gerry guided me upstairs.  He ran a bath before leaving and I stripped and got into the bath.  He came back in and washed my hair.  

I came out of the bathroom to find my room empty.   Gerry had left an outfit on my bed.   I dried and dressed and sat on the edge of my bed.   I took a deep breath. 

Gerry came back in "how about I dry your hair" I nodded.  I felt numb.  I think I had cried myself dry. 

Gerry led me back downstairs to find Derek in the kitchen making porridge.   Dereks homemade porridge was delicious.   He drizzled a bit of syrup on top before placing a bowl in front of me. 

"Eat up baby girl". I looked to Derek and gave him a smile.  I knew full well it didn't reach my eyes but I knew I needed to make an effort.  I surprised myself by eating half. 

The day was spent with my dads hovering around me.  I knew they didn't know what to do.   I didn't know what to do.   By the time it was 3pm Derek had gone to collect Jacob so I told Gerry I was going for a lie down. 

I hadn't a clue where my phone was and I didn't want to know.  I was incredibly sad but I didn't want to be weak.   I would never be weak again.   I sat in my window seat and watched as the rain started.

The raindrops danced down the glass.   I took my finger and traced the rain drops.  Not thinking.  Not feeling.  Just being. 

I felt a nudge to my arm and noticed Jacob.  "Hey" I said as I patted the seat next to me.

"hey sis" he took my hand stroking over my knuckles.  "What can I do?" I looked at him.  Truly looked at him and saw the sadness surround him. 

I realised at that moment that I wouldn't allow my hurt to drown me as it wasn't just affecting me.   It was affecting people I loved and I have got through far worse than heartache.  I felt that chains that were choking my heart loosen a little.

"Games " I said as he looked up at me.  His eyes cleared and he looked hopeful. 

"Games?" He squeaked. 

"Yes let me kick your ass that will make me feel better" I smiled letting my sadness fade and pushing away that cloud.

He jumped up punching the air "your on" he said dashing out of the room.   I smiled and followed him knowing I could fake it until I can make it.

The following week was hellish.   I had a meeting with the architect and didn't like anything.  I rearranged an appointment for the following week.   Dr Roberts had arranged for a hand to hand combat lesson to gauge my fighting level.  That went amazing.   My rage was funnelled into the class.  The instructor suggested some martial arts training.   He said my level was one at a trained academy member.

I signed for the building and found out the name 'Greys Charter'.  It was shit.  I was having no ideas for the name of my studio and I was becoming frustrated.

Mr Stuart emailed me a few times and I just ghosted him.  I couldn't handle him at the moment.  Pierre had given me the date for our opening night and all the family were coming with me. 

It ended up being an evening that lifted me out of my haze.  My painting had been more popular than the main artists.  I had two galleries competing to buy the piece and in the end I agreed to sell to one but the other commissioned a new piece.