Chasing my Dream

Chapter 22

Sleep never came.   It teased me and watched me but it never came.   At 4am I got up put the coffee machine on and went for a run.  It helped a little.  

All the information Brandon had given me I couldn't process.   I sort of understood his actions and knew from seeing him he had experienced a lot of pain.  Did it change how I felt?  Yes it damn well did and I was fighting it. 

I didn't want to forgive him so easily and I was holding onto my pain like a flag to stop me ever opening my heart again.  

Good god was I?   I suddenly stopped in the middle of the forest.   I was.  I was so wrapped up in my pain I wasn't letting myself heal.   Brandon had hurt me but he hadn't thrown me away he had been scared and unsure.   He did what he thought was right and after listening to him I'm not sure if I would have done the exact same thing. 

I took some large fortifying breaths and started to run again.  I was ok.  I loved Brandon and hadn't stopped and forgiving him was easier than I thought.   I did want to be friends but for now I was going to eat.   I needed to get some sleep before my booking tonight.   I also needed to push getting a PA or receptionist or even a manager, so I had someone opening the gallery and helping with admin.  Great two healthy decision made let's head home. 

As I entered the kitchen I poured myself a coffee.  I checked the time it was 5.47am.  I'd been out a long time, I opened my phone and checked messages. 

Brandon: thanks for listening last night it meant a lot x

Pria: thank you for being honest.   If you've some time I would like to show you around the studio.  I can't say what's going to happen but I'd like to start by being more comfortable around each other :)

Brandon: yes id like that :) x

Pria: How about tomorrow I'll treat you to lunch?

Brandon: great see you then thanks Senna x

I smiled at the nickname. 

Marc: you in today wanted a chat xx

I sighed. 

Pria: yes need some sleep but will be in at 2pm booking is due at 4pm.  Molly should have the Buffett set up for 5pm.  See you later xm

Marc: I'm setting up for her as it's only 5 people.  See you later xx

Axel: when are you free? I want to wine and dine you xx

Pria: I have a booking today and lunch plans tomorrow.   We can go out tomorrow night or Sunday x

Axel: how about Saturday night xx

Pria: great xx

What am I doing.   I knew I liked Marc and Axel and potentially had Brandon coming back into my life.  I looked back as my phone vibrated. 

Raven: when you coming gym need your fine ass ;) x

I laughed a loud and hearty laugh.  They were coming out of the frigging woodwork.  I needed to be honest with them. 

"That's a nice sound" I looked up to see Derek leaning in the doorway.  I smiled and filled a mug for him.   He walked over set his and my mug aside and pulled me into his arms.  "You didn't sleep" he stated.  

"Did I keep you awake?" I asked sheepishly. 

"Not really I heard you when I got up in the night and you look awful baby girl" he giggled as he pulled away.

"Gee thanks dad" I smiled back. 

"Come into my office" his office was soundproof so that if we needed to talk academy Jacob would not hear. 

I sat cross legged in one of his office armchairs and spilt what Brandon had told me last night.  Derek sipped his coffee and listened.   When I finished I asked what he thought. 

"Although I was ready to put him 6ft under when he hurt you I somehow feel a little empathy for him.  Did he seem genuinely upset?" he asked. 

"He did Dad.   I was so quiet as I was a little shell shocked that he had been so torn.   It surprised me how much i understood.   It helped any anger over the situation lighten but now I'm a little confused how to go forward" I clarified.

"Pria you have grown from that experience and so has he.  What I suggest is spending some time together.   Evaluate things and try to relax and just get to know each other again.  Time will tell what you mean to each other" he said. 

"Yeah your right as normal.  It's so annoying" I laughed.   He patted my hand. 

"Won't stop me having words with him but I will refrain from shouting" he giggled.  I smiled at him.  He accepted the situation which helped me to without being so hard on myself. 

"I sort of have another issue" I explained.  I went on to explain the events with Axel and the kiss with Marc.  

"I do like them and I'm struggling because I want to get to know them all and I feel I'm being unfair" I explained. 

"Make them all aware of the others.  Be open to your heart" Dad Said.  He was being decidedly understanding.

"Right I'm gonna have a shower and try and have a nap.   I'm heading over to the studio for 2pm for coffee with Marc. I won't be back until late.   Marc is doing the buffet but if he leaves I'll give you a ring.   Tomorrow I'm having lunch with Brandon and tomorrow night Axel is taking me out" I said quickly.  Dad just raised his brow at me. 

"Hush" I laughed.   "I was thinking of getting a PA/receptionist so I don't have full time hours at the studio it do you think I'd be better with a manager.   I'm running around so much I'm not training or painting as much.  I need time to get some new artists and booking in too" I explained. 

"Ok Tuesday Gerry and I will come into the studio and we'll put our heads together to help you with all that" he said standing with his empty mug. 

"You don't have to" I said.

"We don't but we're a family when we can help we will.   Now go on and get some sleep before those bags start dragging on the floor" he said guiding me out of his office.

I leaned in and kissed his cheek "Meanie" I whispered before giving him my mug and jogging upstairs.