Chasing my Dream

Epilogue

We didn't stay long at the Naval Base.  Axel spent most of his time shouting when he returned.   The rest of the time was fussing around me. 

We all flew out five hours after the explosion.  Pierre died in surgery and I found no pity in that. 

We decided to go straight to my Dad's.   Seeing them and Jacob was amazing and we all ate together. 

I went up to my room and was stood looking out of the window as I felt some arms encircling me.  I looked to the side to see Brandon. 

"Are you happy to be home?" he asked. 

"Yes" I said squeezing his arms.  The truth was I felt out of sorts.   Here in this house that had been my very first home it felt different.  I didn't belong here anymore.  But none of the guys had asked me to move in with them so I didn't have much choice.

"We need to be heading off come see us off love" Brandon said with a little too much chipper in his voice. 

We went down and I kissed all my boys before they left.   As they drove out of the driveway I felt my heart tighten.

Gerry slung his arm over my shoulder leading me back to the kitchen. "What snacks for movie night princess?" he asked.

I looked over at Jacob's bright smile. Shaking off my despairing mood i plastered on a smile.

"Popcorn" I shouted as Jacob cheered. We gathered up as much junk food as we could carry before going down into the media room. We all stayed together huddled in a pile watching silly movies and eating until we felt sick.

The next few day's I spend organising a new phone. Going to the hairdresser where Vivian gave me the best pampering session including a massage.

The studio was thriving and I felt like a spare part with Steph being ultra organised. The boys were being illusive. They had popped to see me individual with lots of kisses but it was very short and sweet.

The only thing keeping me sane were my visits to the gym. Jay had explained about the mess with Vlad but I had said he had balls to have avoided his net. His sparring has helped with my mood.

It was now a week since our return and not one had asked me on a date or asked me over. I was officially pissed.

I decided I needed some time out. I told my Dad's I needed a night out and they wanted to come with me but I explained I needed to feel secure on my own as well.

I put on a pair of skinny dark blue jeans and a baby blue cropped top. Black heeled boots and a dark blue jacket finished my outfit. My hair was curled and I felt good.

Going down Derek had checked my phone and asked me to check in with him in a couple of hours. I kissed his cheek and smiled. I wasn't going to diminish their attention. They cared.

I drove into town and decided I would go and watch a film. I looked at what was on offer and chose 'The Darkest Minds'.

I treated myself to some nachos and a large coffee. Once in the cinema I text my Dad to say all was ok and settled down for the film.

It was a nice distraction but I distinctly enjoyed the nachos the most. I laughed to myself. I walked through the mall and decided to browse a few shops. I never normally allowed myself much free time. Thought if I stopped still too much thoughts would haunt me.

Now I wasn't afraid of any if's or maybes. I went into Victoria secrets and looked at some underwear sets and suddenly felt a little sick. I didn't even know if I had anyone to show these to anymore. I hightailed it out of that shop quickly.