Exile on Main St.: Part One

5.7K 70 28
                                    

Pairing: Past Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: angst, sad!reader, depressed!reader

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One Month Since Sam Sacrificed Himself

You and Dean have been together for about five years. He's made a deal, gone to Hell, you've died more than once, gotten into a deadly car crash, been to Heaven, and so much more. There were so many things that could have broken you two up, but it didn't. The fact that this did, this abortion, is surprising. What's more surprising is that he didn't even stop to think about you. You did nothing but put yourself in his shoes, but he never did the same.

It's been a hard month without him. This time is different from the time he died and went to hell. Your soul–body–feels that he's alive. Your soul, no matter how far apart, can connect to his and fall back on it. Yours also doesn't know that he's gone, which is why you haven't had a lot of panic attacks. You're more pissed than sad. Occasionally, you get so sad to where it's borderlining depression, but then you go on a hunt and everything is okay.

But it's not.

You've been feeling down the past couple of days, so you looked for a potential hunt. It's harder to hunt by yourself when you've never had to hunt solo before, but you got your magic to back you up. There's a hunt a few towns over, and you're eager to busy yourself. You hook your duffel bag of weapons to the seat of your motorcycle. Dean took the Impala when he left, so your only options were to buy yourself something reliable or fix one of the junked cars in your dad's yard. You chose the former... because you have your magic. The only things you really carry are the Horsemen Rings, a few guns, holy water, Ruby's knife, some silver, and a few other necessities. Packing light makes it easier for everyone.

"Hey, do you want some company?" your dad asks when he joins you.

"No thanks. I love you with all my heart, but this is something I need to do on my own."

"Yeah, I understand," he nods.

He's been really worried for you ever since the breakup. When you tossed your promise ring away, he found it. You weren't ready to have it back right this minute, but he knew you'd want it later.

"Plus, I'd worry about you the entire time. I don't think I can afford that right now. I promise we can hunt the next case that comes in."

"Okay, drive safe."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too, darling."

You hop onto your bike and start her. She roars to life and gives a gentle purr that reminds you of the Impala. Thoughts of the old car brings memories of Dean back, and you can feel the tears threaten to fall. Before you have a chance to break down, you peel away from your dad and head down the road.


Three Months Since San Sacrificed Himself

Hunting every day is good for your mental health because it keeps you from thinking about the past. You like to hunt with your dad, but you prefer to hunt alone. Only you are allowed to make decisions, you can use your magic for anything you want, and you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself.

Speaking of your magic, ever since Dean left, you've been discovering new things about yourself as if they were locked away, and you needed a specific key to unlock them. Maybe it might have taken Dean leaving for you to discover those sides about yourself, but you're excited.

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