Like a Virgin: Part One

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You're now three months pregnant, but it feels like a lot longer. With all the shit that's been happening with Sam and his soul, you kind of forgot to check in with your baby. He has his soul now, but that doesn't mean everything is magically better. He hasn't woken up, and it's been three days. Death came and went, shoved that soul into his chest, and left just like that. There is supposed to be a wall in Sam's mind separating hell from his mouth compass. You've never dealt with this before, so you're not sure what is going to happen.

You've had three days to reflect on what's happened, and you're not liking the conclusion you're settling on. Is Sam even going to remember what he's done this past year and a half? If not, will he remember? Will he ever be Sam again? You can't forgive what he's done, and if he doesn't remember, what will you do then? You want to say let bygones be bygones, but how can you when you remember everything he did?

Castiel is currently checking out the comatose man, but you're as far as you can get without being excluded from the conversation. The sight of Sam still boils your blood, and you know if you go near him, you'll try and kill him. Your dad and Dean wait patiently with you while Castiel finishes up inside the panic room. The room is silent—too silent. A few seconds later, the door opens and the angel steps out. Sam is lying on the cot attached to an IV since he lost all those nutrients from not eating or sleeping all that time.

You look away after a few seconds and sigh.

"Well?" Dean asked when Castiel doesn't say anything.

"His soul is in place."

"Is he ever gonna wake up?" you ask.

"I'm not a human doctor, Y/N," he sighs.

"Could you take a guess?"

"Okay. Probably not."

"Oh, well, don't sugarcoat it," Dean scoffs angrily.

"I'm sorry, Dean, but I warned you not to put that thing back inside him."

"Do you know what he did to me?" you ask, getting angry once again. "It was either be killed or kill. This was our only option."

"Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it. Like it had been skinned alive. If you wanted to kill your brother, you should have done it outright," Castiel states and then disappears.

"I can't be here right now," you sigh and get off the crate you're sitting on.

You leave the two men in the basement, overwhelmed by your feelings. How are you supposed to feel about this? Dean wants you to forget it ever happened because "it wasn't Sam" except that it was. It may not have been 100% him, but it was definitely him. How can you even look at him the same way?

Your feelings are validated, and to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.

"Are you okay?" your dad asks from behind you.

"No. That is my best friend down there and he's hurting and alone and may not even wake up. He's in pain and I can barely look at him, dad. What if he wakes up, huh? How am I supposed to react? Just smile and be thankful he's alive? I don't want him alive, that's how bad he hurt me!" you yell.

"I know. He tried to kill me too," he sighs.

"No, he didn't just try to kill me. He made it so I'd hate being alive. He's the reason why I never wanted a child in the first place. It's monsters like him that's ruined it for everyone," you cry.

"I'm sorry," he whispers painfully.

"It's not your fault. I guess all we gotta do is wait and see if he wakes up," you sigh and take a seat on the couch, just done with this shit.

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