Sociopath | Kai Parker

Chapter Twenty One • Malivore

Thea's POV - Unedited.

I stood defeated in the cave knowing it hadn't worked. I tried desperately day after day knowing I had all the right elements, but nothing seemed to work. It was like on the outside someone was blocking me, I cried from then day after day until I had no tears left inside of me. 

"Why me!" I shouted in misery  as the water dripped down my face. I was currently sitting in a hot steaming shower as I contemplated the last two years of my life. Yes you heard me right, I'd been stuck in this place for the last two years all alone and no one but myself. I'd done thing after thing keeping myself busy, but here I was not knowing what to do next. All  wanted to do was to kill myself and have all of this end. I don't know how Kai did it. 

I screamed punching the wall over and over again. My knuckles turned bloody and my crying continued as I thought about my friends and family. Was it just me or did it feel as if they just forgot about me. I hadn't even received a note from anyone in the outside world since the first time I tried to escape. On the floor of the shower sat a blade I'd found in Damons old room. I wanted it to be over, I didn't want to be alone I wanted to die and go to heaven where my mother, my sister and my father where. 

Picking it up slowly I watched as the blood from my knuckles trickled down on the white tile as the water washed it away. My hand shook as I looked at the blade, I didn't want to die I wanted to be with the people I loved but with the way I'm going I felt more and more stuck as the days passed. But I'd probably come back. Kai said he did every time, he came back after every attempt of his life nothing seemed to work. I dropped the blade as I screamed out again. 

"Please just make it stop.. why are you doing this to me god.. why!" I think I may of passed out at some point as I woke up hours later as the water covered my body searing red. After my melt down I got out of the shower, changed into a jumper and sweats and laid lifelessly in the lounge room watching gremlins two. I'd made myself Garlic prawn pasta much to my excitement as laid tiredly on the couch as I ate it. It was lonely not hearing the annoying voice of Kai, or the pestering tone of Stefan. Even the loud voice of Caroline as she cheered me on to do something. I missed it so much just the contact of another human being. In a way not having anyone made me feel numb. 

The weeks followed after that I did what any insane person would do, I partied, I drank I laid in bed and cried. I broke things, I laughed hysterically and screamed. I was a mess, a absolute mess that just missed everyone and everything. 

Here I was again sitting out in the yard as I held the diary in my hands. 

Dear Diary, 

Here I am again another year down. Stuck in his person-less world by myself. Left to my own devices. I can't imagine what he felt the longer he was here, but I know for sure that I'm slowly going insane. I can only commend Kai now of how much effort he put in to stop me from leaving the first time. Any desperate person would to escape this hell I now called home. 

I worry that one day I'll be pass insane and un recognisable. But I have to remember that there is people still out there that care for me, and love me I just know that they wouldn't give up. Hey maybe they have, but I'd like to think they haven't and that I'm going to get recused  one day. 

Kai if your out there, I hope you're okay. I know crazy right that I'm thinking of you so much, I don't know why but you were the last person who I saw and the way you made me feel. It changed me, I wanted to be a better me. I wanted to overcome the fear inside of me. I just hope you haven't gotten yourself killed in the real world, knowing you.. you have and it wasn't pretty. But I know you wouldn't of gone down without a fight. Maybe your still alive, so if I make stout of this place one day I'll find you and tell you how I feel and how you changed me. I'm not scared of myself anymore or of my power. Quite frankly I want to harness it and make it something I'm proud of. I'll do it for you, for my family, for people who raised me and for my friends.