janus ~ hermione granger

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"maddy, what's going on? professor mcgonagall says you saw dad hurt, along with phoebe and harry," ginny questioned as she walked into dumbledore's study, fred and george not far behind,

"your father has been injured in the course of his work for the order of the phoenix. he has been taken to saint mungo's hospital for magical maladies and injuries. i am sending you back to sirius' house, which is much more convenient for the hospital than the burrow. you will meet your mother there," dumbledore informed before the any of the fifth-years could.

"how're we going? floo powder?" fred seemed shaken. maddy noticed ginny's state so she stood up and connected their hands.

"no. floo powder is not safe at the moment, the network is being watched. you will be taking a portkey. we are just waiting for phineas nigellus to report back—i wish to be sure that the coast is clear before sending you-"

a light flashed in the middle of the office, leaving a feather falling.

"it is fawkes' warning. she must know you're out of your beds. minerva, go and head her off—tell her any story."

professor mcgonagall did as dumbledore told her and phineas appeared in front of his slytherin banner.

"he says he'll be delighted. my great-great grandson has always had odd taste in houseguests," the wizard trailed off.

"come here, then," dumbledore addressed all the students in the room. "and quickly, before anyone else joins us."

"i'll actually stay back," phoebe mumbled.

"are you sure?" maddy asked, receiving a nod in response.

"as you wish—wait for professor mcgonagall to come back. now, back to the topic at hand—have you all used a portkey before?"

the six nodded and reached out to touch some part of the blackened kettle.

"good. on the count of three then—one—two—three."

it all happened so fast, and before they knew it, they were at the twelve grimmauld place.

as soon as sirius spotted maddy, more importantly, the dark circles under her eyes that had become more noticeable over the last few months, he nodded up in the direction of her room.

she gave everyone an apologetic look before rushing up the stairs, barging into the room she hasn't been in since vacation and throwing the door shut.

after hearing the click of the door locking, she took her hands of the handle and walked towards her untouched lavender bed, sliding down the gray walls, tears instantly falling from her brown orbs.

the next morning, footsteps were heard and maddy's bed slightly dipped.

she opened her eyes, having to adjust to the light before finally being able to see who it was.

"hi," tonks whispered, running her fingers through maddy's hair, slightly frowning as she noticed the younger witch's red, puffy eyes and the dark circles. "what's wrong?"

after a couple moments of silence, the gryffindor sucked in her breath and started crying once again, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"talk to me."

"i—i can't do this anymore," maddy choked out, her whole body trembling in tonks arms.

the room stayed quiet, signaling that the old hufflepuff was only going to listen.

"s-sev told me the truth. h-he told me a-about the prophecy—how i'm supposed to work for him. i can't bring myself to accepting that. i was going to spend the break doing research but all this happened and now i can't because i have to be there for the weasley's. they gave me a place and showed me love that i didn't deserve after m-my parents—after i thought they died, so i have to show that i'm grateful for that—but i can't do this anymore. i can't put any of them in danger. i can't show that i care. i need to go back to how things were before—before i met hermione. before she convinced me to open up. the universe is really against me. i was so close to being completely happy, and now i have to deal with the same thoughts everyday—about how i'm putting everyone i love in danger. especially hermione. i would do anything and everything to keep her safe, and that puts her at an even higher risk, a-and i can't deal with that. what if she dies because of me? what if i lose my soulmate because of my stupidity?"

"you won't, i promise," tonks assured, rubbing maddy's back.

"how can you promise something like that? you can't!"

"look, mad dog, i know i can't, but i know you. you're a strong bitch who won't let anyone hurt your loved ones. you stand up for what you believe in, and even if you don't believe that, you're not alone. you have the weasley's, phoebe, the order, harry, and so much more-"

"can you just leave me alone for now? i barely got any sleep."

"of course. i'll bring you some food later on. will you be joining us later today in visiting arthur?"

"can you say i was feeling ill?"

"anything for you," tonks softly smiled, getting off the bed and planting a kiss on maddy's forehead.

the taylor girl spent the majority of the break cooped up in her room, surrounded by books and plates of food that tonks would bring up.

hermione and phoebe would spend hours a week helping with research seeing as they were the only other two who maddy trusted with this.

of course, there were other like remus and ginny, but hermione, phoebe, and tonks were just more trustworthy in maddy's point of view.

the only time she would go downstairs was when molly scolded her for only having the occasional blueberry bagel and iced tea, forcing the young brunette to eat an actual meal with everyone else currently residing in the order's home.

someone else who was extremely worried, other than the family of red-heads, was hermione granger.

sure, she would spend a lot of time with madison, but they only really spoke when they read
something useful.

as much as the bushy-haired girl loves reading, she loves her girlfriend more, and it was killing her feeling maddy build those walls up again and knowing she couldn't do anything about it.

hermione jean granger was fearing the storm bound to happen within their relationship, while madison iris taylor was fearing the storm brewing and planning her own future.

and as hard as they both tried to prevent those catastrophes, they knew there was nothing else they could do.

hermione knew that they weren't going to last.

and madison knew that she was doomed.

word count- 1113
date written- october 30, 2020