janus ~ hermione granger

lxxviii

after harry finally woke up, he told the two girls about how nagini had been inside of bathilda, and that was why she didn't talk, since it would've been parseltongue. they continued to attempt to fix harry's wand, but failed, which resulted in maddy just throwing hers at him.

it's not like she needs it, right?

but anyways, due to madison and hermione not sleeping one bit all night to take care of the boy, he forced them to get some rest, which is where we are now, a couple hours later.

the bushy-haired witch woke up crying, causing maddy to wake up as well, and without any hesitation, wrap her arms around her girlfriend. they stayed in that position until hermione calmed down.

"harry?" they both crouched down next to him, handing him a cup of tea.

"thanks."

"do you mind if we talk to you?"

"no," he replied, but maddy knew he was just trying not to hurt their feelings. although, hermione didn't.

"harry, you wanted to know who that man in the picture was. well, i've got the book."

maddy placed 'the life and lies of albus dumbledore' on his lap, confusing him.

"where—-how?"

"it was in bathilda's sitting room, just lying there, this note was sticking out of the top of it."

"dear barty, thanks for your help. here's a copy of the book, hope you like it. you said everything, even if you don't remember it. rita," maddy recited. "we think it must have arrived while the real bathilda was alive, but perhaps she wasn't in any fit state to read it?"

"no, she probably wasn't."

"you're still really angry at me, aren't you?"

"no," harry answered quietly, glancing over at the darker girl. "no, maddy. i know it was an accident. we wouldn't have gotten out of there alive if it weren't for you," harry sent her a smile, before looking at hermione and doing the same, "i can't be mad at my dying buddy."

he proceeded to read a chapter of the book, as well as hermione, but maddy hated reading, so she zoned out instead, but her mind went to one question:

was phoebe alright?

was ron taking care—-was she taking care of ron?

how were they doing? where were they? were they going to find them? when would they see each other?

more and more questions began swarming her mind, worrying her even more(which she didn't think was possible).

she would've stayed in her own world if hermione hadn't tugged the book out of harry's hands.

"harry-"

he shook his head.

"what happened-"

"harry, listen to me. it—it doesn't make very nice reading-"

"-yeah you could say that-"

"-but don't forget, harry, this is rita skeeter writing."

"you did read that letter to grindelwald, didn't you?"

"hold on—-grindelwald?"

"stop zoning out, and yes, i—-i did. i think that's the worst bit. i know bathilda thought it was all just talk, but 'for the greater good' became grindelwald's slogan, his justification for all the atrocities he committed later. and—-from that—-it looks like dumbledore gave him he idea. they say 'for the greater good' was even carver over the entrance to nurmengard."

"what's nurmengard?"

"the prison grindelwald had built to hold his opponents. he ended up in there himself, once dumbledore has caught him. anyway, it's—it's an awful thought that dumbledore's ideas helped grindelwald rise to power. but on the other hand, even rita can't pretend that they knew each other for more than a few months one summer when they were both really young, and-"

"i thought you'd say that," harry interrupted, attempting to not spill out his anger.

"i'm still confused," maddy muttered under her breath.

"i thought you'd say 'they were young'. they were the same age as we are now. and here we are, risking our lives to fight the dark arts, and there he was, in a huddle with his new best friend, planning their rise to power over the muggles."

"i'm not trying to defend what dumbledore wrote," hermione spoke as harry stood up to walk his temper off. "all that 'right to rule' rubbish, it's 'magic is might' all over again. but harry, his mother had just died, he was stuck alone in the house-"

"alone? he wasn't alone! he has his brother and sister for company, his squib sister he was keeping locked up-"

"i don't believe it. whatever was wrong with that girl, i don't think she was a squib. the dumbledore we knew would never, ever have allowed-"

"the dumbledore we thought we knew didn't want to conquer muggles by force!

"he changed, harry, he changed! it's as simple as that! maybe he did believe these things when he was seventeen, but the whole of the rest of his life was devoted to fighting the dark arts! dumbledore was the one who stopped grindelwald, the one who always voted for muggle protection and muggle-born rights, who fought you-know-who from the start and who died trying to bring him down! harry, i'm sorry, but that real reason i think you're so angry is that dumbledore never told you any of this himself."

"maybe i am!" he bellowed, throwing his arms out in exasperation. "look what he asked from me, hermione! risk your life, harry! and again! and again! and don't expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that i know what i'm doing, trust me even thought i don't trust you! never the whole truth! never!"

"he loved you," maddy whispered before hermione could, finally feeling as though she could join the conversation. "i know he love you."

"i don't know who he loved, maddy, but it was never me. this isn't love, the mess he's left me in. he shared a damn sight more of what he was really thinking with gellert grindelwald than he ever shared with me."

he picked up maddy's wand, which he had accidentally dropped in the snow, and sat back down at the entrance of the tent.

"thanks for the tea. i'll finish the watch. you get back in the warm."

the two girls reluctantly got up and walked away, hermione summarizing the chapter of the book they had read.

𓆉

after settling in the forest of dean, harry had told the girls that he could finish their watch, sending them into the tenth so they could rest in the warmth.

"can i ask you question?" hermione mumbled, sitting up due to her not being able to get any sleep.

"technically that was a question," maddy chuckled as she propped up her elbow and laid her head on her hand so she could look at hermione bettee.

"i'm serious."

"no, you're hermione."

"mads," the bushy-haired witch sighed, holding back a smile. "why did you choose me?"

"what do you mean?"

"well, you're a pure blood, and i'm a muggle-born."

"and? that doesn't play a role in anything, blood statuses don't matter to me. we can't choose who we fall for, but even if we could, i would still choose you. you saved me. you saved me from being alone, from becoming joining the dark side; from everything. i wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, or phoebe, the weasley's, or anyone else who has been there for me these past few years. hermione jean granger, you are the love of my life, please don't ever question that."

"i love you," hermione leaned in for a kiss.

"i love you too, darling. now try to get some rest."

word count-1268
date written- december 6, 2020
i was gonna have hermione mention her relation to voldemort but i was too lazy to add that in 🤝