COMPLETED
Kennedy banks , a 19 year old young women living in Chicago , struggles to find herself and achieve her goals . With distractions like her drug dealing brother , or unsupportive mom . It seems almost impossible for her to make it out . No...
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"The sun'll come out Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow There'll be sun ... Tomorrow, tomorrow! I love ya tomorrow! You're always A day Away!" I sing out to myself while twirling around the kitchen , preparing Von a sandwich . I grab a sharp knife and cut it in half , then grab a cup of ice and pour his favorite lemonade inside .
This has been one of the worst weeks for our relationship but each day I've been trying hard to fix it. Trying to show him that I'm all in and I'm ready to follow his lead . But he continues to push me away . So I figured if I do all the things that started our love, he can go back to his nice lovey dovey self instead of mean and dry .
I smile at the meal I prepared him and gather it to take it up the stairs .
"Wish me luck " I tell moo before walking up to the room . I open the door and to my surprise von isn't still laying in the bed asleep . "Von ?!"
He walks out the bathroom fully dressed and fixing his jewelry . I look at him confused and sit the plate down "well Goodmorning " I mumble "where are you going so early? " I ask
"Durk and I are performing at Kayla lil party tonight so I'm finna meet up with them " he says without even looking up to acknowledge me . For him to say I don't know how to express my emotions he sure isn't doing a good job himself .
"Oh cool I'll get ready after we eat" I smile and hold up his sandwich .
"It's a buisness thing " He says
"Oh okay" I nod understanding "Well the parties not until later on , you don't have a minute to eat breakfast ? " I ask .
"I'll eat it on the go " he shrugs.
"Why eat on the go when you can eat now ? " i snap at him with attitude clear in my voice . I never snap at him like this anymore, but this is the Von I hate . The Von that I first met , and we've been dating to long for him to go back to acting like that .
"I don't wanna eat now Kennedy damn ! " he yells then walks back into the bathroom and closes the door
I exhale and frown my nostrils trying not to throw this sandwich in his damn face . Now I'm starting to get mad. Every time I try to be nice and mature, he wanna act like a little ass girl . So since he wanna be old Von I'm about to be old Kennedy . Bet I get his attention now !
I storm in the bathroom and he jumps back. "What the hell is wrong with you ? " I ask him
"Nothing " he looks down
"You keep walking around here acting like a lil bitch , I'm tired of this shit " I blurt out feeling my filter disappear. As much as Von makes me mad he's never made me this mad . I wish I could take back what I just said but it's to late now .
"Call me another one " he gets serious and finally looks me in my face . I exhale and shake my head .
"Ion know what's wrong with you but I've tried everything to fix it . If you want me to leave just say that so I can stop wasting my time. " I shrug .
"I'm fucking working !" He yells
"so you letting that music tear you away from me ?! " I yell back
"Man I'm not tryna hear this shit " he waves me off . I look at him in shock and shake my head feeling tears build up in my eyes .
"do you want me ? "I ask seriously . I'm tired of walking on eggshells and waiting for him to loose this attitude. I'm ready to leave if he doesn't want to fix it .
"The fuck are you talking about Kennedy ?" he ask with an attitude like I'm the one tripping .
"You heard me "
"Stop jumping to these silly ass conclusions okay , I'm going through a lot right now and you can't leave " he says . That's the most feelings he's expressed since he started this whole attitude act and it gave me a little clarity .
"Baby I'm here for you , just please talk to me and stop pushing me away " I say and hug his torso .
"It's just that - " he stops and sighs "Kennedy I don't want to hurt you "
I look up at him and grab his chin planting a kiss on his lips . "Your hurting me by not telling me " I say honestly and he shakes his head .
"I- I " he stutters and looks at my eyes "I can't "
My lip starts to quiver while He exhales and tries to walk past me and I stop him . " if you walk away while I'm trying to talk to you again I can promise you I'm not going to be here when you get back "
He looks back at me and shrugs his shoulders " I gotta go to work "
He walks off and I close my eyes while balling my fist trying not to cry . I've wasted so many tears on him and I'm done . It's like he purposely wants to hurt me now days . He started doing things he knows upset me and acting like he doesn't care about anything .
I've been trying to be positive and make it work because I love him so much , I'm in love with him , and he tapped into emotions that I didn't know I had . He fixed something in me that I didn't know was broken and now he's tearing it apart again .
I don't know what he's going through but I just can't deal with it anymore . I tried to stay and fight for us but I lost , and I don't even want a rematch.
I walk out the bathroom and grab a bag out the closet and start stuffing random clothes in it . I grab my tooth brush and other hygiene products then zip the bag up . I grab a notepad and write down a note , then attach it to his plate with the sandwich that I knew he was going to want to eat later when he got high.
I sigh and let more tears fall while putting on some jeans and shoes , then Walk out the room.
"Cmon moo " I mumble walking down the stairs . I look around the house one last time and start to cry harder . I wish I can just stay and deal with it like a mature women but I'm just not one of them . I can't keep crying and blaming myself over his personal problems . I love him enough to let him go .
"Dont worry daddy will be back " I tell moo and start my car . I hope Von comes back , and not the person I just left .
