lover of mine // mgc

tried and failed

song for the chapter: my happy ending - avril lavigne

30 weeks pregnant

"i don't wanna go."

i whined to bee as i brushed my wet hair out. today is my 30 week ultrasound and i really don't wanna go. or at least not without michael. i tried texting him all week and he didn't say anything back. i hope he shows up but maybe i shouldn't set my hopes too high.

i've been staying with bee for the last week. it's too painful to be at michael and i's house. i wonder if i'll ever be able to step foot back into that house without michael. i mean, i guess i have to. all of luna's things are there. but i don't wanna go back there alone unless i have to.

"you have to go. don't you wanna see luna?"

bee asked.

"not without michael."

"oh, forget michael. he sucks. besides, you have luna and i. and you and luna could always move in here if you wanted to."

"no offense bee, but i don't think us and a newborn could live in your house."

i said with a laugh.

"fair enough."

bee laughed. i took one last look in the mirror and sighed.

"you ready?"

"ready as i'll ever be."

i sighed as i walked out of the bathroom. we got into bee's car and drove to the doctor's office. the whole time i felt my heart pounding out of my chest. i want michael to be here so bad. he has never missed an appointment. he always made the time, no matter his schedule. i don't know if i'd be able to forgive him for missing an appointment. no matter how mad at me he is, he should be there for luna.

before i knew it, bee and i arrived at the doctor's office and filling out my paperwork, i was quickly called back to an exam room. there was still no sign of michael around.

"good luck. i'll try calling michael again."

bee said with a slight smile. i followed the nurse back to the exam room and i laid back on the exam table. i stared up at the ceiling until i heard the exam room door open. i sat up quickly but much to my disappointment, it was just doctor green.

"hello alex! you alone today?"

doctor green asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"i guess so."

i sighed as i fell back onto the exam bed.

"well, let's get this underway then."

doctor green said with a smile. she put the gel on my stomach and started moving the doppler around until luna appeared on the screen. as soon as i saw her, tears started forming in my eyes. no matter what the circumstances are, this is the best feeling in the world.

"she looks like she's gonna be a big baby. must take after her dad."

doctor green joked. that felt like a knife going through my chest. she really is the ultimate daddy's girl and she isn't even born yet. and it seems that her dad doesn't even give a fuck about her anymore.

doctor green wiped the gel off my stomach and printed out the ultrasound pictures before i left. as soon as bee and i got into the car i just broke down.

"he doesn't care. he doesn't love her. i could handle it when he ignores me but he ignored luna? that's his daughter."

i sobbed.

"i'm so sorry alex. i can't believe he's acting like this."

bee said as they rubbed my back.

"that's not the michael i fell in love with. i don't know what's gotten into him but that's not my michael. my michael was so happy to be a dad. maybe he's been cheating on me."

"alex, don't think like that."

"but what if he is? or maybe he got cold feet about luna? i tried to give him an out before. why did he have to lead me on like that?"

i sobbed into my hands.

"i don't know. he's out of line. it makes me sick the way he's acting."

bee said as we pulled into their driveway. i could tell bee is extremely angry. and nothing good ever comes out of that.

"i'm gonna go take a nap."

i sniffled as i got out of the car.

"okay. i'll be in in a moment."

bee said as i nodded.

michael's pov

i sighed as i stared down at the text on my phone.

crystal: we aren't doing this anymore michael. we can't keep just having sex like this. you love alex. you've loved her for years. she's pregnant with your child for fucks sake. go be with her before it's too late.

let me give you some backstory on this text. the night i left the house, i didn't come to calum's right away. i went to crystal's...and we had sex. and that wasn't the only time. i don't know if i regret it. it's not cheating if alex and i were broken up then. but i still feel a bit guilty. and now crystal is telling me that we can't see each other. and i don't know why, but that hurts more than anything.

"where the hell is he cal?!"

i heard someone yell from the hallway. before i could do anything, bee stormed into my room.

"i'm gonna kill you michael clifford!"

they yelled as they went to lunge at me, but calum grabbed them by the waist and held them back.

"what the fuck is your problem?!"

i yelled at them.

"where the fuck were you today clifford?"

"what do you mean?"

"don't play stupid. alex's 30 week ultrasound was today."

bee said. my heart stopped when i heard them say that. i thought that was later this week. fuck i'm an idiot.

"i can't believe alex is over there sobbing over someone as selfish as you! newsflash, she's pregnant, she's allowed to be insane and irrational. and i don't condone violence but you fucking deserved that slap! you cheat on her, call her a whore, call her a bitch, and all this other shit and you get away with it! if alex didn't do it, i would've done it!"

bee yelled at me. they have a point. i haven't treated alex right at all.

"she's been sobbing over you for a week straight. i basically have to force food down her throat just so she eats. she is so in love with you and you treat her like another one of your groupies."

bee spat at me. that's when their eyes landed on the open text from crystal on my phone. before i could grab my phone, it was already in bee's hand.

"and not only are you ignoring her and your daughter, you're choosing crystal over them. you better fucking fix this and fast clifford. or i'm telling alex all about this."

bee said before they threw the phone back onto the bed and walked out of the house. i looked at calum and he just looked at me in disgust.

"bee's right. fix it michael."

calum said before walking out of the room. i sighed as i sat down and looked at the text on my phone. how do i fix this? maybe it would just be better if bee told alex about this. maybe alex and luna deserve better than me. and what if crystal tells alex about this? i have absolutely no clue how i'm going to fix this and make sure alex never knows about crystal and i being togehter.