lover of mine // mgc

it was always you

song for the chapter - always you - louis tomlinson

i've always loved watching the guys whenever they're creating music. watching their process is pure chaos but whenever they find that spark and make an incredible song, it's magic. so, here i am, sitting in the studio with the boys at 3am, as they try to find this spark. this process has taken all day but it's not like i had anything to do anyways.

"mikey."

i whined as i laid my legs across his lap and rested my back against the comfy office chair.

"yes?"

"i'm tired."

i sighed.

"i know, i'm sorry it's running long. i promise we'll go home soon."

michael said as he ran his hand up and down my thigh. my body tensed up at his touch. all i can think about is how michael and i are keeping our feelings from each other. i wish i could tell him that i know how he feels about me but then it gets too messy. but at the same time, i just wanna kiss him and get it over with. i miss his kisses, even if it's only after award shows. it's like everything just changed once i got pregnant.

"get a room, mum and dad."

calum laughed as i rolled my eyes and michael laughed. i grabbed a piece of paper out of michael's notebook, crumpled it up into a ball, and threw it at calum. how ironic that him, being the only person knowing how michael feels, is making comments like that.

i mean, i know that luke knows since he told michael not to tell me about his feelings. only veronica really knows how i feel about michael. not even my family knew about it. but it's not like they would even care.

"i can't stand you cal."

i said before plopping back down in my seat.

"there's the hormones."

michael giggled as i glared at him.

"i swear that i will lock you out of your own house tonight."

i said to michael.

"i wouldn't mess with her mike. she locked me out of my own hotel room once. after she stole my clothes."

ashton said, causing us all to laugh.

"i remember that night. we were in italy and you stole my leftovers from that really fancy restaurant. you really shouldn't steal my shit."

i said with a bit of a giggle.

"oh, what a good lesson to teach your child."

luke said.

"because you're such a good influence, lucas."

"better than these other blokes around here."

luke said as i giggled. i love having these moments with the guys. it's weird to think that in a few short months, michael and i will have a baby that takes up all of our time. i know the guys are going to be supportive no matter what, but i just don't want them to forget about us.

"so do you guys think you're having a boy or a girl?"

calum asked us.

"i want a girl."

michael replied, taking me by surprise.

"really?"

"yeah. i guess i always just imagined myself as a girl dad."

michael said, which brought tears to my eyes. just the thought of michael and our child together brings tears to my eyes. michael teaching our child to play guitar and helping with homework and teaching them how to be a good person. i can't wait to witness it.

"why are you crying?"

michael asked me as he wiped away the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

"i just can't wait to see you be a dad."

i said with a smile. after another hour, we decided to call it a night and we all went our respective ways. i went home and went straight to sleep, but was awoken in the middle of the night, or morning i should say, by my daily dose of morning sickness.

my running down the hall and into the bathroom must have woken michael up because as i was emptying my stomach into the toilet, i felt michael pull my hair back and make it into a makeshift ponytail.

"you good?"

michael asked as i wiped my mouth.

"yeah. i'm just not feeling well, which seems to be my new permanent state."

i said as i stood up off the floor and began to brush my teeth.

"well...do you wanna come sleep with me in my bed? we can catch a few more hours of sleep and then get some food."

michael said as my heart started pounding. he wants me to sleep in his bed with him? i'd be crazy to let go of this opportunity.

"sure."

i said as i wiped the toothpaste from my mouth. i followed michael into his bedroom and we both crawled into bed. i shifted my body so that i was facing him.

"you know, i didn't believe in the pregnancy glow until i saw you. you really are glowing."

michael said as he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. i felt my cheeks become hot as i smiled.

"you think?"

"yeah. you look gorgeous. not that you don't any other time."

michael said. we both looked at each other for a moment before we both went in and kissed each other. i know, it took me by surprise too. but it just felt...right. it feels amazing. it's all i could ever want.

michael and i both pulled away and looked at each other.

"i'm sorry."

michael said.

"no. i wanted it."

i said.

"let's just...get some sleep."

michael said as i nodded. i shifted my body away and felt michael wrap his arm around my waist and pull me close into him. did that really just happen? did he really just kiss me? it doesn't feel real...even though it definitely did happen. but the way michael reacted afterwards...did he even want it? did i do something wrong? maybe he just wants to sleep on in. i don't know. all i know is that we kissed. and i don't regret it one bit.