tear in my heart

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song for the chapter: beside you - 5 seconds of summer

10 weeks pregnant.

i sniffled as i watched michael zip up his suitcase and place it on the ground. it sucks having to watch michael pack and knowing i can't go with him. it sucks knowing that michael and i just got into a relationship and now he has to leave for the next three months. and it sucks knowing that michael won't be here for a full three months of my pregnancy.

"it's going to be okay. i'm just one phone call away."

michael said as he wiped my tears.

"i know but i just wish you could be here. i'm going to miss you."

i said as i hugged michael.

"i'm going to miss you too. i'll make sure to send lots of pictures and bring you both back lots of souvenirs."

"that's honestly all i ask."

i joked as we both laughed. we heard michael's taxi pull up and if felt like an elephant had set on my chest. i've never really been alone before. i've been living with michael since i moved out of my parents house. anytime michael and the guys went on tour, i went with them. this is going to be a new experience for us both.

"i love you. please take care of yourself."

michael said as he wrapped me up in a hug.

"i love you too. please don't let the guys party too much."

i said, causing us both to laugh. michael placed a kiss on my lips and then bent down and placed a kiss on my stomach.

"take good care of mummy while i'm gone, peanut."

michael said to my stomach.

"peanut?"

"yeah. she's our little peanut."

michael said.

"and how do you know it's a girl?"

"i just know."

michael said. he kissed me one last time before walking out of the house. i sighed as i walked over to the couch and plopped down on it. what do i do now?

+

i laid in bed, blankets pulled all the way to the top of my head, as i tossed back in forth. i thought sleeping in michael's bed would help but it's only making me miss him more. i got out of bed, opened michael's dresser drawer, and pulled out one of his t-shirts that laid messily in the drawer.

after slipping my shirt off and putting his on, i heard my phone began to ring. i ran over to it and smiled to see michael's name lit across it.

"hey beautiful."

michael said as his face appeared on my screen.

"hey handsome. how's the road going?"

i asked him.

"would be better if you were here."

"i know. i'm the most fun person in the world."

i said with a giggle.

"well, i can only take so much of the guys before i need a refresh. are you wearing my shirt?"

michael asked.

"...maybe. i just miss you."

"i miss you too. i don't know how we're going to do three months of this."

"me either. i can't even sleep without you here."

"well, i could always sing you to sleep."

michael said.

"you would do that?"

"of course. get comfortable."

michael said before he went to retrieve his guitar. i propped my phone up on the nightstand before resting my head back down on the pillow. michael soon returned back to the screen and began strumming the chords to beside you.

"she sleeps alone. my heart wants to come home. i wish i was, i wish i was, beside you."

was the last thing i heard that night before i finally fell asleep.

2 weeks later

12 weeks pregnant

"get out of bed!"

veronica yelled as she jumped on the bed.

"i don't want to!"

i groaned as i shifted my body. i haven't been out of the house since michael left and veronica has been begging me to go shopping with her. i just haven't had the energy.

"let's go! get up!"

veronica yelled as she pulled the cover off of me. i groaned as i sat up and glared at her.

"get dressed. we're going to the mall."

she said as she jumped off my bed. i walked out of michael's bedroom and across the hall to my bedroom. i pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a oversized t-shirt and quickly threw them on. as i was changing, i looked in the mirror and smiled as i noticed a tiny bump. i quickly grabbed my phone, snapped a picture, and sent it to michael.

to: mikey 🖤:
we missss youuu 💕
attachment: 1 photo

from: mikey 🖤:
i miss you guys too. can't wait to see you again 🥺

i smiled as i put my phone in my back pocket and went out to the hallway. veronica and i went to the mall and were shopping for a while when i felt my phone going off like crazy.

"who's blowing you up?"

veronica asked.

"i don't know. it's all like twitter and stuff."

i said. i opened the twitter app and my heart dropped when i saw pictures of michael kissing another girl flooding my mentions.

"alex...i'm so sorry."

veronica said as she put her hand on my shoulder comfortingly. but i don't think anything could comfort me from this. how could michael do this to me? to our family? i thought he loved me? but clearly everything he told me was just a lie.

lover of mine // mgcWhere stories live. Discover now