I walked nervously through the street, keeping my head low, my hood up.
I'd been doing the same thing since I'd gotten off the tube. The underground was always crowded, the people down there certainly weren't people I wanted to mix in with no matter how much I looked as roughed up as them.
I'd gotten some odd glances in the carriage, my heart had pounded loudly pulsing through my entire body as I rushed out of the station, out into the street, tossing people out of my way.
Everyone look. The human abstract is over here.
At least I looked like one, the deep, harsh purple stain, contrasting against the pale canvas that was my skin.
I couldn't go home to Phil like this. What would I tell him?
It'd be the best idea to just tell him I was roughed up by the station, its a believable story, the bruise was just my ticket.
Thanks dad, look at me now. Finding a way to lie to my best friend, look at me now.
I couldn't tell Phil that the bruise on my face, was no mistake.
It wasn't a big deal really... I just can't go home for a while, besides, my dad has never hit me before, not ever.
This was new to me, I can't say I was expecting this at all.
I whimpered a little at the memory, tears stinging in my eyes as I continued to walk through the street, back to the apartment, my face a painted mess of failure and disappointment and my body shaking violently.
How can this be fair?
I shook my head sleepily, walking through my bedroom door, I think mum had breakfast on? I could smell something good.
"Morning Dan!" My dad called through, paper in his hand, he had a smile on his face.
In fact, everyone seem awfully cheery this morning, I knew my family liked the Lester's though, so they'd be content with last nights chat.
"You look like hell Dan! Tired?" My brother chimed in, cutting off my train of thought.
"I didn't sleep until late, skyping Phil" I explained.
"Ah! Last night was lovely, Phil's family are great don't you think?" My mum chirruped.
I nodded, picking up some toast from the side and sitting with my parents round the table.
"Oh I think Dan has more of an eye for Phil, right Dan?" My brother mocked, winking suggestively.
My dad's head shot up, he sent me a sideways glance in confusion.
"Leave him be Adam!" My mother said, trying to brush it off.
"Well Dan's not just a homosexual, he's our homosexual" he chuckled, ruffling my un-straightened curls.
"Daniel?" My dad asked warily after a moment of silence.
Please don't call me that...
"Is it true? I love you honey.. It doesn't matter to me, whether you have feelings for Phil or Not.. I had suspicions once or twice, but I should've realised sooner" my mum babbled on.
"Mum its no-"
"Honestly because I love you no matter what! You know that?" She said anxiously.
"Okay but mu-"
"I'm sure your father feels the sa-"
"Dad! She won't liste-"
"We love you Dan" she interrupted.
"I'm gay, okay? Leave me alone! I'm done with this conversation! Fuck off!". I yelled, sliding back in my chair.
My mum looked startled, she looked down at the table and didn't speak for a minute.
"Don't swear Dan" she muttered under her breath, breaking the silence.
My father then started to laugh. I wasn't sure why, but his hearty laugh filled the room.
"Nice one Dan! See dear? You pushed too much, he's joking of course, Dan and Phil are just friends, don't be silly" he laughed, setting his paper down on the table.
"No! Dad... I'm gay" I repeated.
"Okay Dan, it isn't funny anymore, we got the joke, drop it" he said, his tone growing darker.
"Dad? What's the problem? Dan's just trying to tell us he's gay, what don't you understand? He is still the same Dan, he just likes boys, preferably the blue eyed boy" Adam sighed, looking ahead at my dad.
"Adam!" He hissed through his teeth "don't fucking test my patience. Dan is not gay" He spat.
He sounded so repulsed, I was confused and hurt at the same time, why was he so against the fact I'm gay? Does he not like Phil?
I felt the anger growing inside me, what was his fucking problem?
"Dad! I'm fucking gay" I growled angrily at him.
He stood up, pacing the kitchen.
"I really wish you'd shut up" he said quietly.
"What the hell is the matter with you? What don't you understand? I'm gay" I said, raising my voice.
My mum placed her hand softly on my shoulder in attempt to settle me, but I shook it off.
My dad turned to me, trudging forwards at a quick pace.
"Don't speak to me like that with your filthy mouth!" He yelled in my face, loose saliva landing on my cheeks.
My mum spoke up anxiously.
"Love, calm down, sit-"
"I won't have it! Not in this house! No! I'm not having him here any longer, he's lying to me! Gay? Don't he pathetic Daniel!" He snarled, his voice dripping anger.
I didn't say a word, I didn't have a chance anyway.
He raised a fist and threw his arm forwards hitting me in the face.
I felt the pain pulsate every split second.
As he hit me over and over again.
Again and again and again...
"Stop! You'll kill him!" My mum screamed tears now pouring down her pale skin she looked so lifeless.
I wanted to tell her I'd be okay, not to worry, but I feared all of them.
I felt my cheek ache as blood rose to the surface of my skin, seeping through the torn skin, as I stumbled backwards, turning on my heels and running forward to my bedroom.
I made it to the door, flooding in and slamming it behind me. Thank god I'd begged for a lock on my door on my 14th birthday! I turned the lock frantically, not knowing if the animal was waiting on the other side of it.
Knowing that for now I was safe, I climbed onto my bed and cried into my pillow.
Once a tear had fell, I couldn't stop them.
They came in floods, dripping onto my bedsheets.
I felt my chest tighten as I let out a desperate hiccup, with more tears following.
I choked out a loud cry and got up off the bed.
I can't stay here, never again would I be treated like this. First I need to pull myself together and call Phil, tell him I'll be home earlier than expected...
Of course after that I packed, and left the house, my mother broke down in tears, right in front of me, begging me not to leave and forgive him.
She forgave the old bastard too easily, all the time, sorry mum. I can't end up like you, cooped up with him, bound to his every command.
I have my own life now. With Phil.
I can't let you get in the way, can I?
