I looked up through my fringe, tapping my finger on the table.
Dan was just in front of me, silent.
The cafe ambience was quite loud but it didn't stop the awkwardness of the situation.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Sigh
Dan shuffled in his seat, looking around the café.
Tap.
He smiled at a little girl running around her families table laughing.
Tap.
He turned his head back to the table and fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt.
Tap.
He sighed again.
I just watched his every movee.
This was weird, Dan and I always spark up conversation, and it doesn't even matter what it's about because Dan and I never get awkward with each other.
What's wrong with us lately?
Well, obvious question but...
We're best friends... Right?
"A hot chocolate for you sir!" I heard, it was a brisky, woman's voice, I look up at her.
She was about my height, blonde, skinny, very smiley. She had a nice smile though, then again doesn't everyone?
"Wow, thank you! It looks delicious" I giggled taking the mug from her.
She turned to Dan, smiling brightly.
"I like your shirt by the way" she giggled, pointing to him.
"Oh thanks" he said giving her an awkward smile.
"It really suits you!" She laughed again, throwing her hair behind her shoulder.
I almost choked on my drink, wow, way to go Dan! Picking up the ladies!
I felt an odd twinge in my stomach for a second but chose to ignore it.
"Woah, thanks, your apron really suits you, is it designer?" He joked.
It was lame, but she laughed out loud, like he'd really said something funny.
"Anyway, here's your drink" she smiled, handing him the coffee.
Please leave.
"Thanks" he said taking the mug.
Their hands brushed together briefly and I had the sudden urge to slap her.
She looked back at me and smiled.
Before beaming back at Dan and walking away, with a skip in her walk.
"Wow" I said, sipping my drink.
"What?" Dan asked raising his eyebrows.
"Oh, nothing". I sighed.
I didn't want to seem jealous, because really I'm not.
I'm just tired.
"Listen, Erm, Phil? I've been meaning to talk to you"
I suddenly felt sick. I put my mug down and smiled to show I was listening.
"I... Um, wow I don't even know where to start!" He said, he wouldn't look me in the eye, just straight down, guilty.
"I'm sure you've noticed, something's not right. The thing is, I think it started ever since Chris and PJ's party, but it seems, since then, I said some stuff to you when I was drunk? Right? I don't remember what, and honestly I don't want to know, but I just, erm, want to clear things up?" He said nervously.
I didn't know what to say, I started down at the table silently.
"Phil? Fuck".
"I don't love you".
Why do I remember that so clearly?
When he said that and I broke. I kicked him out of my room. And cried.
I broke and swore to myself I'd get over him.
And he doesn't even remember any of that.
So no wonder I'm trying so hard to forget I ever thought I loved him, because how could I love a person after that?
"Phil". He said a little louder.
I took a sip of my drink, slowly.
"It's weird" I finally whispered.
"I know it has been and I'm so so sorry!".
"I think it just got crazy, you drank, we fought, things changed". I sighed.
Dan looked at me with such a pleading in his eyes and such guilt.
"You're my best friend, I'm sorry Phil I just want things normal, no more alcohol ever!" He was babbling on and and I couldn't stop myself from smiling.
He was worrying about me,
About us, our lives.
"It's okay". I interrupted, smiling softly at him and nodding.
"Are you sure?" He asked nervously.
I nodded and grinned.
"We're going to be fine" I said to him, looking up, and pulling my usual happy face, Dan told me it resembles the '^-^' emoji a lot and that makes me want to do it much more often.
"Also, Phil, I was thinking, we... Should take a trip, I totally understand if you don't want to leave Alex, but I think we're pretty solid with YouTube and our money situation is doing fine. I was thinking Japan? Maybe?"
He looked so genuinely scared to ask.
I smiled.
I felt the most excited I had in forever!
Japan? I've always wanted to go. The Pokémon center is there! And the Tokyo tower!
"Yes! Please, make it Japan let's go to Japan!" I squealed, throwing my arms around in excitement, but in the rush, I spilt my drink.
Dan laughed.
"Wow" he just said grinning, staring at the mess and pulling out some tissues and napkins to wipe it up.
"I'm a disaster!" I sighed helping.
"You better shape up for Japan then" Dan grinned again.
I jumped around in my seat, it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and turned into a spring, that won't stay still in my stomach.
Dan giggled.
"I'm so happy Dan, I could just die right here".
He smiled brightly and didn't reply.
He didn't have to.
It was his idea, he's a genius.
We're going to go to Japan!
