Phil's P.O.V
I was walking back to the apartment with Alex, it wasn't long after talking he slipped his hand into mine. I felt my whole body heat up immediately.
"What are you doing?' I asked hastily.
I knew how harsh people could be, towards the gay community, I certainly didn't want any attention from people.
He shrugged lamely.
"Trying it out" he said, as though it was nothing.
I sighed, he was just trying to get used to it. I guess it was weird for both of us.
He looked up at the apartment building. "Which floor are you on?"
"Fifth"
He didn't let go of my hand, he walked straight in with me.
We turned a few heads to say the least. But he marched straight into the stairwell, as though I was something to be proud of.
If Dan had done something like this, my heart would flip.
Maybe it'd be easier if I was in love with Alex.
But I'm not.
If only it was that easy.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked walking in rhythm to him, up each step.
"Oh? Sure it's been a while, if Dan won't mind" he spat Dan's name as though it were a disease.
I suppose I expect too much, Alex was bound to be mad, after I told him the story of the party, etc.
He opened his mouth to speak but we collided with another being on the stairs, I looked up and faced two brown eyes, wide and anxious.
Dan.
He looked startled but relaxed a little when he realised it was me.
"Dan" Alex spoke, tightening his grip on my hand. "Good to see you again"
"Hm" Dan mumbled. "Always"
There was a brief awkward tension between us until I spoke.
"What are you doing?" I asked, directed to Dan.
"Handing in our rent, apparently the landlord is ill, so he can't collect it, so in taking it to the desk, also the lift is broken, so I'm forced out of my lazy habits onto the stairs" he half laughed "you?"
"Went to meet Alex for a drink and invited him back for a bit, is that okay?" I asked, nibbling my bottom lip.
He lowered his eyes to our joined hands and frowned slightly.
"Sure" he nodded.
"Seeya then" I said softly, I couldn't even look him in the eyes at this point.
He walked on, ruffling my hair as he passed us.
My head felt warm, as did anywhere he touched, as though he'd have hold of me forever.
"He's certainly got an edge about him" Alex chuckled, rubbing circles into my hand with his thumb.
"I guess" I sighed, I usually wouldn't agree, but lately, how can I deny it?
Dan's P.O.V
So he's back, eh?
I thought he'd cleared off for good now, but clearly he isn't done with Phil yet.
My stomach felt hollow and I burned with jealousy. Are they together?
They were holding hands, undeniably.
What was that about?
And Phil's inviting him over? Fuck.
Phil's always so clueless but he can't seriously not see that me and Alex, hate each other. We've always had some kind of rivalry.
Well, he has. I don't need to compete for Phil, he isn't a prize. Or a toy. Or some souvenir for fun.
He's my best friend. No strings attached.
If there were a building on fire, containing me and Alex. Who do you think Phil would save?
Me.
We've been through too much for him not to!
Though... He's known Alex longer. So maybe it'd make sense. For him to want to date Alex.
Fuck I wish I remember what happened with Phil last night.
I got drunk, that's all I remember.
I'm done flirting with Phil now, I'm done messing him around, things can go back to normal. My dad still calls quite often, my bruise is just a faded mark now. Nothing too drastic. Phil always worries it hurts though, it doesn't.
The thing that hurts is knowing I'm gay. Having to lie about it to my family so that I don't get hurt. Also knowing Phil is in there with that motherfucker and they could be doing anything.
I came to the desk at the reception and smiled brightly.
"Hi Dan, that the rent?" The receptionist asked.
I knew him, vaguely, but couldn't remember his name. I'm the worst at names.
Harry. His name tag read.
"Yeah" I said, pushing forwards the envelope.
"Say, how's that flat mate of yours? What's he been up to?" He asked, just trying to be friendly.
"Honestly, I don't really know" I chuckled.
He nodded. "Okay, seeya"
I hated personal confrontation.
I nodded back, turning back to the stairs.
Time to see what those two are doing.
Phil's P.O.V
"So, this is the apartment" I said, spreading my arms out for dramatic effect.
I giggled, I'm such a dork sometimes.
Alex grinned. "It's cute"
I nodded.
"Me and Dan decorated it with nerd stuff, so"
Alex went to sit down on the couch.
I was dreading Dan's returnal, I was hoping Alex would leave as soon as possible.
"Want a drink?" I said out of the spirit of being a good host.
"Tea?" He asked.
I nodded.
"Sure"
I walked into the kitchen.
Its cute.
He said. He said it was cute, I wonder if me and Dan will ever move into a house together? It'd be nice. Though surely impractical. Dan doesn't want to spend his life cooped up with me. When he finds a girlfriend, he will settle in with her.
But where does that leave me?
More importantly, where does that leave me and Dan?
Would we still be friends? I suppose it'd distance us quite drastically.
I stirred in the tea, staring down at my hands. They were trembling.
I was put to a stand still when I heard the door click.
Shit.
I walked to the fridge, grabbing the milk hastily, I didn't want those to alone for long.
Dan's P.O.V
"Dan" Alex said, smiling.
I looked around the room for Phil.
"Phil's making tea" he said.
He patted the couch space beside him.
"It's been ages Dan! Come sit" he said eagerly.
I sighed, walking over an sitting beside him.
"How've you been?" I asked.
"Pretty boring until today, its always nice to see you and Phil"
I liked that, it had a nice ring to it you and Phil.
"So Dan, still single? You've always been a ladies man-"
I snorted. Laughing a little.
"What? You don't mean to tell me you're gay? How would daddy Howell feel about that?"
I clenched my fists. This kid knew how to push my buttons.
"No Alex, I'm not gay, hate to disappoint you" I spat.
"Nah don't worry about that, I'm saving myself for Phil" he said "or was"
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
He better not even think about trying making a move on Phil.
"Well, of course, you wouldn't know, we kept it a secret for so long-"
I felt sick.
"But me and Phil-"
Him and Phil?
"Are dating".
I stood up abruptly.
"What?" I whispered, staring down at the floor.
"You heard" he said.
"Alex, can you come here a sec?" Phil called out from the kitchen.
I slumped back into the couch, covering my face with my hands.
Alex stood up and walked off.
I felt lost. Sick. Unwanted. Scared. Alone.
Heartbroken.
"Alex" I spat
He turned, eyebrows raised expectantly.
"Don't talk about my dad, like that again" I sighed.
"Well, You, I and Phil, know where that... Mark on your cheek came from Danny boy!" He laughed harshly.
"W-what are you talking about?" I stammered.
"Phil told me, he thinks it was your dad too, poor soul, too scared of you to say anything, wouldn't think you'd hear him out. Maybe just make out with him or some gay shit like that, it's funny- before! When you said you were straight? Good one". He laughed sarcastically. "You think you are so secretive and clever, but everyone sees straight through you, the sad truth, now you can't even have Phil, I got him. You took your time Howell, nice job".
Phil's P.O.V
I was thinking while making the tea... Maybe this fake relationship wouldn't be a good idea?
I just wanted to get out of it. Before he told Dan.
"Alex, can you come here a sec?" I called out.
I sat at the table.
Within moments he appeared in the doorway.
"Hey" he said smiling softly.
I smiled and handed him his tea.
"Thanks" he nodded.
"Anyway, I was thinking, maybe we shouldn't do this fake relationship thing... I think it could cause too many issues"
Alex stared down at his feet, fiddling with his sleeves.
"Phil" he sighed, turning his head up. "We talked about this, when the time is right just tell Dan we broke up, and things can be perfect for you-"
"No! Ever thought of where that leaves you? What happens if we ever want to see eachother again? Dan will be suspicious... Or... And" I started to stutter, this was awkward now surely.
"Go on".
"Maybe Dan's straight... This could be for nothing".
"Phil, listen to me, give it a month, if nothing changes, we'll call it off, okay?"
I nodded. I'd do it for Dan, and for Alex.
"Good". He said.
"Okay, so when are we planning on telling Dan about us?" I sighed.
"Oh that's okay, I already did" he said, patting my shoulder firmly and walking out the door.
What?
