I can't sleep bc of my loud hamster so here u go ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
PJ's P.O.V
Katie was cuddled up to my arm, I knew she was falling asleep, in all honesty, I just wanted to talk to Chris, I needed just a moment alone with him, to know he's okay.
I stroked her hair gently to coax her into a nap, I hope Dan and Phil don't mind her sleeping on their couch. It'll only be for an hour or so.
Fuck it was getting late though, I needed to hurry up, my heart was bouncing around in my chest and I breathed a quiet sigh of relief as I heard soft snores from beside me.
"Thank you" I mumbled to myself.
I moved painfully slowly and set her down across the couch, never taking my eyes off her, to be sure she was settled.
She was, at last, I stretched my arms out, quite impressed with my tactics and smiled proudly.
I turned round wondering where Chris would be.
I couldn't see him anywhere in here, so I wandered down to the hall, where the bathroom was, it was empty and Chris wouldn't invite himself into anyone's bedroom, I panicked slightly thinking he had left, I paced back down the hall to the kitchen, to see his coat hung on the back of a chair and I smiled contently.
Thank god.
He's probably getting some air, or taking a break, he's quite prone to headaches.
I noticed Phil talking to Charlie across the room, it was strange he wasn't by Dan's side. Though Dan came out of his room briefly a while ago, then went back... Odd.
"Phil I'm getting some air ok?" I called to him.
"Okay Peej!" He said smiling brightly.
I opened the door hurriedly and started to rush down the stairs, stopping suddenly and almost falling straight forwards as I collided with Chris, sat down on the step.
"Fuck!" I hissed, my stomach churned at the situation.
"You shouldn't run down the stairs, you'll hurt them" he said looking up and me and smiling.
I grinned, I loved his humor.
"And you think they appreciate being faced with your ass?" I laughed.
"I have a great ass FYI" He giggled.
I nodded "That's for sure".
I sat down on the step beside him, turning to face him, he looked better than when I'd last seen him.
We didn't talk for a while, just sat contently in each others presence, enjoying the familiarity.
"How are you?" He said at last.
"I'm okay, just fine, and you?"
He just nodded, before going quiet again.
"Pj? I just... Want you to know that I'm doing better, I don't know if you care, but I'm off my medication... By doctors orders and therapy really helped, I still have my days... But things are, stable" He mumbled quietly.
"How could you think I don't care? I'm so happy that you're okay". I said softly, resting my head on his shoulder.
"Your girlfriend is pretty". He said after a minute.
"Who? - Oh shit, um- yeah yeah she is!" I babbled shaking my head rapidly, how humiliating.
"Been together long?" He asked casually.
"About 2 weeks" I mumbled.
Chris looked at me surprised then, with wide eyes.
"Seriously? I would've guessed months with the way she is around you".
"She's... A fan" I admitted, feeling rather embarrassed.
Chris chuckled "I see".
"I don't think it'll last" I said truthfully.
Chris kept his stare as if he expected more.
"She's kind of a rebound off someone I liked... I thought I liked her but- I don't know".
"Do you still have feelings for this person?" He asked curiously, clearly fascinated by my story.
It felt good to vent to Chris, like old times.
"I wish I could say no, but part of me will always love them".
"Love?" He asked, surprised.
"Love".
"I know exactly what you mean, I loved someone so much it ruined me, honestly" he sighed.
"Did you confess to them?"
"Never, I just walked away from it, thinking space would help, it didn't" he said coldly.
"You should tell them, to clear your conscience" I decided.
He laughed, "Yeah right".
He pushed my side away playfully.
"Really! It'd be like a weight has lifted!" I said excitedly.
"Really?" He asked.
"Yes! Do it!"
"I will... If you will!" He said firmly.
I considered this... Telling Chris I was in love with him while he loved someone else. Maybe it'd help... It's awfully embarrassing, though after the rejection I won't have to see him.
"Okay" I decided after a minute. "We'll text them at the same time. Just the words 'I love you' okay?" I said shakily.
Chris nodded pulling out his phone slowly.
I did the same and clicked on his icon typing the message out and staring at it worriedly, closing my eyes and hitting send.
Chris and I looked up at each other, my stomach churned as he smiled softly, trying to assure me it'd be okay.
He'd get my text any minute and I'll be such a fool!
"I feel sick" I said softly.
"Shh Peej it'll be-" he was interrupted by his phone buzzing, I wanted to take it off him... to cry...to scream, but I didn't.
I sat completely still as if I had trained for years as a statue impressionist.
Chris looked down at his phone for a few seconds before looking up at me with his mouth parted slightly in utter shock.
'PJ-' my phone cut him off then beeping loudly and my heart twisted.
I looked straight down and turned on the display screen.
Chris- I Love You.
I wanted to throw up. I pressed my eyes tightly shut as my head spun, round and round and round.
I pulled out of my trance and Chris interlocked his hands with mine.
"I love you" He whispered into my ear, leaning closely towards me.
I started shaking. This was impossible.
"Pinch me" I stammered.
"What?"
"Pinch me".
"Peej, you're not dreaming" He giggled.
"I'm not?" I asked looking up finally to meet his eyes again, pinching myself a few times.
He leaned in and kissed me gently, stroking my arm to calm me down.
I started crying, I know it was stupid to cry but what was I doing?
"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you even if you're with Katie.."
"But I want to be with you!" I shouted suddenly... Oh god PJ shut up!
He smiled to himself, stroking my cheek softly.
"I left, you don't need me around anymore PJ" He said, smiling the whole time.
"Don't say that! I never stopped loving you! I worried about you non stop, when you lived with me! When you didn't! I just wanted you to be happy and see yourself the way I see you because you're flawless Chris!" I cried squeezing his hands tightly.
"Hey, hey, shh" he said kissing my cheek.
"I'll fix everything if you want me to! I'll end it with Katie whatever it takes I just want to be with you". I said shaking.
"PJ are you sure... Because-"
I pulled him in for an embrace and buried my face in his neck.
I held him close to me for only a moment before pulling away nervously.
"I'm so very sure Chris. So very very sure". I nodded.
"I love you" He muttered, smiling slightly.
"I love you" I said blushing.
I couldn't think of anything but him in this moment, we would be together... That's all I needed.
Dan's P.O.V
It'd been just over two hours, I had packed two suitcases of my essentials and boxed everything else up, I'd pick it up later on in the week.
My room looked so bare, my bed stripped, walls empty, drawers clean.
It was someone else's room now, not mine.
I couldn't cry anymore, I was certain every box was at least 50% tears.
I heard a small knock on my door and sighed.
"Come in".
The door swung open and I clenched my jaw.
"You're still here?!" I said angrily.
"I knew you'd miss me too much" Alex said blowing me a kiss from the doorway.
"Yeah well I won't have to see you ever again".
"Yeah I see that, also I listened from behind the door" He giggled.
"Phil was maaad".
"No shit" I said rolling my eyes.
"So grumpy" he said, pouting and booping my nose.
"Still drinking out there?" I asked sarcastically.
"Phil can't finish it alone". He said back shaking his head.
"Just save some for other people". I sighed.
"Almost everyone's gone, no one knows where PJ and Chris are for a start" He said, playing with some bubble wrap I'd left out.
"Oh" I realised then I'd missed my own party and chuckled to myself, the irony, invite everyone over for a fresh start and I end up moving out.
"You have a pretty smile" Alex said suddenly popping another row of bubble wrap.
"Really?! Thank you so much because honestly you have the cutest piece of dickhead lodged in your brain" I said smiling sarcastically.
"Touché" He laughed.
I hated him with every cell in my being.
"Can you, leave now?" I asked.
"But Phil won't talk to me and I'm bored!" He whined.
"I don't care, bye bye Alex" I said pointing sternly to the door.
He sighed and threw his head back in a strop, standing up and stomping out of the room.
"Twat!" He spat before slamming the door.
I placed a spare pillow on my now naked bed and a blanket, curling up with the two, slipping off my jeans and shirt, I just wanted this day to be over, I'll be home tomorrow.
"Goodbye apartment" I whispered, switching off the lamp by 'my' bed.
I closed my eyes, as tight as I could, and thought of only Phil.
