Hey guys, yes this is late, I wrote a massive chapter over 1500 words and I came to write more today and it was gone and I'm really fuckin' pissed :)))) also possible trigger warning.
Phil's P.O.V-
I yawned sleepily, train rides tired me, especially since it was getting late.
"Tired?" Dan mumbled, yawning in response.
I smiled and nodded slightly.
"I'll wake you up when we're there, you don't need to worry, sleep if you'd like". He muttered.
"Thanks, I'll think about it".
Dan seemed to have lightened up since back at the house, he was talking to me again.
I glanced up at him, he looked less tense, more relaxed.
I don't know what happened, he just kind of... Snapped.
I shut my eyes wearily, maybe me and Dan needed a break, maybe we both needed to relax.
I've always wanted to go to Japan, or Tokyo.
Wait isn't Japan in Tokyo?
My head hurts, I scrunched up my eyes in discomfort, I'm so tired.
I hummed softly to myself, lulling my head back onto the seat.
I felt my eyes get heavy and my body, light as a feather, taken by weariness, into sleep-
I gasped suddenly at a tap on my shoulder.
"Phil" Dan whispered, looking straight at me.
I rubbed my eyes sleepily, "yeah?".
"We're almost there" he chuckled.
He leaned forwards, pecking my lips happily.
What?
I blushed furiously, what was he doing to me?
One minute he hates me, the next he wants me again.
"What do you want?" I sighed.
"You" he giggled.
Pulling me in and kissing me again, no one in the carriage seemed to notice, or care.
I smiled cheerily, kissing back.
"I love you Philly" he mumbled into my neck, holding me close.
I'd needed this for so long.
"I love you too Bear"
I always have.
I placed another kiss onto the side of his head, draped in hair.
He looked up at me tearily.
I was startled at the sudden mood change.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you Phil, I'm sure you guessed about my dad, I was scared, I'm sorry I messed you around so much, I-"
I pressed my finger to his lips softly. Wiping a tear away with my thumb.
"It doesn't matter, I've got you bear, I love you".
He kissed my cheek softly, holding onto my hand, I smiled brightly.
Only Dan could make me smile like that.
Dan's P.O.V
Phil lulled his head back onto my shoulder after a few minutes and cuddled into my side, damn.
I tilted my head to look down at him.
What an angel, I lowered my eyes to his lips, he was smiling in his sleep.
His eyes flickered as he cuddled further into me.
I wonder what he dreams about, in times like this?
Alex?
I sighed, probably.
He screwed everything up, they both did, why do they have to be together?
Why do I even care?
Even if I am in love with Phil, I never planned to act on it, and he deserves to be with someone who can make him happy like I want to.
I just wish that person wasn't Alex.
Phil breathed out, as if in pure bliss and wrapped his slender fingers around my arm, I felt his grip tighten.
He smiled again, I wish I could make him smile like that.
Phil's P.O.V
I stared out at a row of seats with tired frustrated people, lining each one.
I was on a train.
When did I get here?
I became suddenly aware of my surroundings, blinking rapidly.
I felt head pressed to my side, and a small breath release.
I looked across at Dan, I was pressed to his side, with my head on his shoulder.
Oh.
I realised the reality of the situation and wanted to scream.
Take me back.
I don't like this place.
I don't like it here.
Take me to my happy place.
Take me back to the dream.
Take me back to where Dan loved me.
It was dark out, but I couldn't have been asleep for long.
Dan glanced down at me and smiled sheepishly.
"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey" he sighed sleepily.
"How much longer?" I muttered rubbing my eyes.
"Like 10 minutes" he said checking his phone.
I nodded.
"Hey Phil? What did you dream about, you kept smiling?" He mumbled, not quite meeting my eyes.
What do I say? I couldn't creep him out and say him! Then it clicked.
"Alex" I said, pretending to be love struck, my glancing out the window and smiling to myself.
"Cute" he said. That was all.
Dan's P.O.V
~ Possible Trigger warning here ~
I glanced down at my wrist, pulling down my sleeve slightly and tracing the fresh marks with my finger tip.
Remember Daniel, you deserved this.
You did this.
Part of me knew this wasn't right, the other half urges for the blade, every living, breathing second I exist.
Phil was starting out of the window.
"Alex" he said smiling to himself, lovestruck.
How could he say that? How could he do that to me? I pulled furiously at a scab that'd rested on my skin for a while, a little blood rose.
Calm down Dan. He didn't know.
Tears sprung up to my eyes.
Didn't know or didn't care?
Stop it Dan, it's not his fault.
It never is. Only mine.
I pulled down my sleeve roughly, And sighed.
I hope lou is okay. I'd never imagined Louise to get a divorce, or Darcy losing her fairy tale family. Its a hard age to learn what a cruel place the world can really be.
"Are you nervous?' Phil whispered, suddenly so close to me. As if reading my mind.
"A little" I mumbled truthfully.
"Dan, she will be okay. We can keep her safe, she has millions of people who adore her, she has friends, family, seriously don't worry okay? If anything, worry about getting off the train. I've heard you've got quite the opportunity to get your head stuck in train doors". He mocked.
I laughed. "Shut up!"
