Phil's P.O.V
"Phil, it'll be okay, honestly he's out there drinking his feelings away, there's no way he'll remember this argument, alright?" PJ said squeezing my hand for reassurance.
"That's not the point though, I don't care if he remembers. I wanted him to love me" I sounded like a spoilt child, but I couldn't care less.
"I know it hurts Phil, but Dan can't help his sexuality' PJ sighed.
Chris gave him a confused sideways glance.
"That's bullshit! You think he's actually straight?" Chris half laughed.
"Well... No" PJ admitted "but we have to respect his choice for now"
I looked at them both sadly, they were hopeless.
I wiped the back of my hand across my cheek firmly.
"So when are you guys admitting you're in love with eachother then?" As soon as I said it, I realised what a shitty thing I'd done to them, it must be really awkward right now.
PJ blushed fiercely, and let his jaw drop.
"Never?" Chris laughed.
PJ chuckled in agreement.
I rolled my eyes at the pair. Like I'd said, hopeless.
I just shrugged, they must think I'm really stupid, as well as vulnerable.
"What are you guys doing here anyway?" I asked.
"We came over to ask if you wanted to go out for pizza or something, we haven't done much since that party.
I froze. That party.
The tears starting stinging in my eyes again, I remembered Dan taking my hand and leading me onto the dancefloor, slinging his arms around me, whispering in my ear, wanting me. Things can sure change in 3 weeks.
The tears rolled down my cheeks again.
I exhaled slowly, I really needed to calm down, this was stupid.
PJ looked at me with understanding in his eyes, I remember calling him that night, telling him about everything.
I never wanted... This.
He hugged me tight.
"Want us to leave?" He mumbled.
"I'm so thankful for you two, but I just... Need to be alone right now, I'll call you or something" I sighed curling up under my duvet.
They both got to their feet.
"Okay, if anything happens or if you need something, just text us okay?" Chris said, smiing a little.
I nodded sleepily.
"Take care" PJ said, closing the door behind them.
Take care.
I pressed my hands to my mouth, to hold back any sounds, and cried harder, my cheeks wet and uncomfortable. My hands trembling.
This is what heartbreak feels like.
Dan's P.O.V
I'd grown sick of the taste of vodka and any alcohol I'd found in the fridge.
Phil hadn't come out of his room for a while. We had argued, I knew that. But I couldn't remember why.
My head kinda hurt and my body was numb, I feel as though I'm floating. I giggled slightly. My lips are tingling.
I wanted Phil. Why was he so grumpy?
He is so silly! I think he needs me too. Maybe he just hasn't realised yet.
I staggered down the hall, it'd been a few hours now, but I knew Phil would be awake.
I opened his door slowly, greeted by a dark room. It was comforting, considering the contrast wasn't nearly as harsh to my eyes, I let my eyes adjust and peered towards Phil's bed, he was in there for sure.
My eyes focused and he became clear.
He sat there, his face shocked, eyes red.
His eyes were so clear, they lit up, the only light in the world that didn't hurt right now, I can honestly tell you, in that moment, he had never looked so beautiful.
The startled look on his face relaxed a little, and he lay back down.
I missed him already, why does he have to be a male? Why does my kind of love have to be wrong? It's not fair.
"I- I" I finally stammered. But I couldn't think.
I just had the final image of his beautiful blue eyes in my mind and his mouth, so soft... So kissable.
Why was he angry at me? I wish I could remember. I tried so hard to think back.
I suddenly heard his voice, as a faint memory.
"Get out! Get out! Get out Dan"
Fuck. Why? Damn. I wish I knew why he was mad.
Realising, there was no point, I turned away, and left, closing the door behind me, again greeted with the stinging bright light of the flat.
But nothing hurt more, than loving Phil Lester.
